


There'll Be Days Like This

by thesalmondean



Category: Roswell (TV)
Genre: F/M, Future Fic, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-05
Updated: 2015-09-05
Packaged: 2018-04-19 06:23:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 40,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4735769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesalmondean/pseuds/thesalmondean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>**Originally written 2008/2009 and posted at another fanfic archive. Re-posting here AS IS**</p><p>Eight years after "Graduation"; there is no FBI Special Unit and the only problems facing our alien heroes are situations stemming from decisions they all made in the past. Specifically, when a young, dark-haired boy named Alex (who looks strangely similar to a young Max Evans) shows up in their lives, everyone feels the effects.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It's All Biological

_**Prologue-October 2015** _

"Alexander Martin, did you hear me?"

Alex stared at the Biology textbook before him. He had been reading the same paragraph about genes for nearly an hour. The diagrams swam before his tired and unbelieving eyes. Never before had biology intrigued him like it suddenly had.

All Alex could think about were his eyes. They were brown; his mom and dad's eyes were both blue.

"Yeah, mom; I'm coming," Alex answered moments later as he slowly closed his textbook.

Blue eyes were a recessive gene; Alex couldn't have brown eyes. Biologically it wasn't possible. Now he knew what he had felt and feared for the last few years was really true; he was adopted.

But how did he approach his parents? How did he ask them for the truth?

"Alex, pass the potatoes please."

Stirring the mashed potatoes on his plate, Alex dimly heard his 6-year old sister Crystal asking for the potatoes. Grasping the bowl he turned to his sister, her blue eyes were glittering; her blond hair framed face smiling and piercing Alex's heart.

Crystal was theirs biologically. But he was not.

"Mom," Alex blurted suddenly as his mother looked up questioningly, "can I ask you about when I was born?"

A heavy silence fell over the table as his mother's face faltered and his father stared wide eyed.

"Can we talk about when I was born too?" Crystal echoed with sincere hope. Alex almost felt bad for bringing it up.

"Maybe later, Crystal. Will you go upstairs please?"

"But I'm not done eating!" Crystal proclaimed angrily.

"Go," their father said in a low voice. Crystal stuck out her lip, and stood from the table, rolling her eyes.

"I know about sex," she condescended to say at the bottom of the stairs and Alex had to stifle the sudden urge to laugh.

"Crystal," their father sighed as they watched the blonde haired little girl stomp up the stairs.

The table was silent until they all heard Crystal's bedroom door shut. Alex stared at his plate, his food mostly untouched.

"Alex, what's going on?" his father asked. Alex couldn't help but detect a trace of nervous fear in his father's usually calm and reassuring voice.

It didn't help. He knew the only reason they would have sent Crystal away was because they were going to confirm what he suspected. Part of him was desperate for there to be some normal, biological reason why he had brown eyes. It just didn't seem possible that his whole life was a lie.

"In biology we're learning about genetics," Alex started, picking up his fork and mixing his green beans into the mashed potatoes. He felt his parents watching him. He knew he was being unfair.

"The thing is…you both have blue eyes and-well," Alex paused and surged forward, "I don't," Alex hazarded to raise his brown eyes to his parent's faces. He saw pain and understanding and any false hopes he was holding on to were immediately and effectively dashed.

"Alex-," his mother started.

"No. Just wait. I need to ask this," Alex took a deep breath, "I have to know. I was adopted wasn't I?"

Alex watched as his parents looked at each other and reach out for the other's hand.

"Yes, Alex. You were adopted," his mother finally sighed, a single tear escaped her bright blue eye and rolled down her cheek.

* * *

_**May 2017** _

"Congratulations Alex!"

"I'm so proud of you!"

"Are you going to college?"

"What do you plan to study?"

"What are your goals now that High School is over?"

"Cheers to the graduate!"

Alex lay exhausted in his bed, the alarm clock next to his head glowed red digits indicating the day was almost over.

_flash flash 11:59 flash flash 12:00 flash flash_

"Thank God," he whispered.

The day had been a whirlwind starting at 7am when Crystal (who was now a slightly annoying 9-year old) had jumped on Alex and woke him up; woke him after only three hours of sleep.

From that moment forward it had been a blur of ceremony, gushing relatives, parties, gifts and food. Alex had endured it with gritted teeth. In his head he was anxiously counting the days until he left.

Alex turned 18 years old in January (an arbitrary date chosen by his adopted parents, he'd learned, because his actual birth-date was unknown). The year before he had applied and had been accepted to Northeastern University; starting with an early selection of summer classes. Alex was leaving the wilds of Montana, the place he'd called home for 18 years, for the wilds of Boston. He couldn't wait. Three more days and he was gone.

Eyes heavy and burning, Alex stared at the luggage that was piled under his bedroom window. He was mostly packed, with only a few more things left to do before he was gone. His parents had fought him on this early departure, but not too hard. Since learning he was adopted, Alex had retreated. He used to be very close to his parents but now he felt something else. He felt betrayed by them. By the people who were the most important to him. The people he had most needed to trust in and believe. Alex didn't know if he could get back from that betrayal. He had not really thought about his birth parents at all. As far as he was concerned, they were only his genetic donors. His real parents were the people who had raised him; but they had raised him in a lie and that was what hurt him the most.

_flash flash 12:05 flash flash_

Alex barely registered another thought before complete exhaustion overtook him.

_**One Week Later** _

"Welcome to Northeastern University and what is affectionately known as the summer torture-term. My name is Mark Griffith and I am the man in charge of this year's pre-frosh class," he paused dramatically, "and that is you." Mark Griffith stopped and looked around the room at the 150 or so students gathered. The smile on his face was one of superiority and Alex felt his insides start to writhe with new nervous intensity.

"If you can make it through the six-weeks of seminars and classes then you'll breeze through your four (or more) years here. Many of you likely think I'm joking," the dark-haired man at the front of the auditorium paused again for affect and let the few sniggers die down.

"Five years ago I was where you are," he continued as he paced before the roomful of pre-freshman. "I came here with attitude and brains, and when the summer was over I was thankful I was still alive. This pre-frosh summer session is designed for the serious student. So if you think you came here early to escape mommy and daddy and to party the summer away, think again."

This time there were no sniggers.

"This is your reality check; and even now, most of you still don't believe me. But this will be the hardest summer of your life. So be prepared."

A short, blond woman with glasses crossed the front of the room and handed a slip of paper to the man.

"Ah," he smiled, "this is what you have been waiting for."

"Before I send you on your way let me just say, as a survivor of this summer session, that you can make it. It's a challenge and will test your determination, but the best advice I can give is don't quit; because you'll never make it in life if you start quitting now."

Alex leaned his head back and rolled his eyes. He wondered if he'd made a mistake in trading one set of rules at home for another set of rules at school. Glancing to his left, he noticed a girl watching him distractedly. Alex offered a smile, but the girl quickly turned her attention back to the front of the room. Alex shrugged.

"You've been divided into ten groups of fifteen, each group is assigned to a mentor, so here goes…"

Fifteen minutes later the room was in chaos as the students wandered around finding their groups. Alex sat in his chair and watched with bemusement as the harried students rushed, bumping into each other. Shaking his head, Alex stifled the urge to laugh.

"Are you going to sit here all day, or are you planning on joining us?"

Alex looked up and saw Mark Griffith standing before him, a smirk on his face.

"Just waiting for the masses to thin," Alex responded, feeling slightly challenged by the look of amusement on Mark's face.

"Alex Martin, am I going to have trouble with you?" Mark Griffith's asked, his eyes scanning Alex's nametag then moving to his face.

"I don't forsee it," Alex replied, standing and starting towards the front of the room where he was to meet his mentor and group.

If Mark replied Alex didn't hear him.

Approaching the milling group of students Alex saw the dark-haired girl who had been watching him earlier, so Alex approached her. She was very pretty, and if nothing else maybe she would explain why she had been staring at him.

"Hey," Alex said as he walked up to her. She was very tall, almost Alex's height, and her eyes were a dark brown, nearly black.

"Hi," she replied as she turned to face Alex, she was unable to hide the obvious surprise. Alex felt something churn inside that was not quite unpleasant as he watched the girl try to compose herself.

"I'm Alex Martin," Alex tried to ignore her look of surprise and held out his hand.

"Jackie Ramirez," she answered with a nervous smile as she shook his hand.

"Are you from around here?" Alex asked, letting go of her hand.

"I grew up in Boston actually. I've lived here all my life," Jackie's nerves seemed to calm a bit.

"And you? You look so familiar to me, that's why I was staring earlier. I'm sorry, it was rude of me," Jackie smiled.

"No, I'm not from around here. I'm from Montana. I came here for the Biology program; it's supposed to be one the best, at least in comparison with all the schools that offered me scholarships."

"Oh, so you plan to major in Biology?" Jackie asked with interest.

"Yeah," Alex considered telling her the story about finding out about his adoption, but they had known each other for barely five minutes. The personal stuff could wait a little longer.

"Can I have your attention?" The blond with glasses who had delivered the list of groups to Mark Griffiths was apparently the mentor for Alex's group.

"My name is Carrie Fuller and I'll be guiding you through this six-week program. I'm in my second year of Graduate School, getting my Masters in Biology. You all were assigned to my group because you've shown interest in Biology or the related sciences. I hope to get to know you all well, and don't be afraid to come to me with questions or problems. Now let's move on outside and we'll begin the campus tour."

* * *

The campus tour was only slightly more involved then the one Alex and his parent's had taken the previous fall. The tour he took today delved more into the Biology Department and Alex felt, for the first time in a long time, an aching to get back to the lab. He was sure his passion for Biology stemmed from not knowing where he came from, but whatever the reason, Alex latched onto the hope of getting time in the lab and he couldn't wait to start again.

But it turned out he would have to wait. After the tour came lunch, where the group of 15 had to endure the torturous task of group introductions…name? where are you from? why are you here? blah, blah, blah…Alex was unimpressed with the whole group he was with, except for Jackie. She intrigued him. Something about her drew him in and he was certain she felt the same way.

After lunch they were let loose for the rest of the day. Left to explore and settle in and get rested before the real work began the next day. Jackie left to go home as she was staying with her parent's off-campus. She was still 17, Alex found out, and her parents were leery to let her live in the dorms until she turned 18 in November. Jackie confided that she was sad to miss out on the freshman dorm experience, but she hoped to move out of her parent's house before her sophomore year.

Once Jackie left, Alex retreated to the room he'd been assigned. Part of the summer program was to pair the pre-frosh students as roommates to be continued through the school year. Alex came to his assigned room to find a tall, skinny black kid unpacking a box full of books.

His name was Jerry Jackson and he was from Florida. He was studying Psychology and he played Basketball. Alex was surprised to find he liked Jerry. In past experiences with jocks from high school Alex had not been a popular guy. But he and Jerry clicked immediately. At dinner they talked about their families and Alex discovered that Jerry was the first in his family to go to college. Alex was impressed and as he went to sleep that night, he was beginning to feel happy about being where he was. Two new friends, one of them an attractive girl…Alex felt happier than he had in a very long time.

The first week of the program flew by. They were thrust into it headfirst, and spent almost eight hours a day in the classroom or the lab. Alex felt his mind challenged like it hadn't been before, and he and Jackie grew closer. They partnered up in the lab, and found that they spent their time outside the lab and at meals together too. It was like they'd always known each other. Everything was easy. By Friday afternoon of the first week, Alex was ready for a break; and walking out of lab that day he knew just what he wanted to do.

"Hey, Jackie!" Alex ran ahead of the crowd to catch up with Jackie; she was heading towards the bus stop. She had complained many times to Alex how her parents wouldn't let her drive to school so she had to take the bus.

"Hey Alex," Jackie smiled as she shifted her loaded down backpack. Alex ignored the strain of his own bag on his tense shoulders.

"What are you doing this weekend? I was hoping maybe you'd want to go see a movie or something?" Alex blurted out hopefully.

Jackie smiled sweetly and Alex instantly regretted the question, knowing what her answer was going to be.

"Sorry, I can't," Jackie put down her backpack as they came to the bus stop. "I have to babysit my brother and sisters while my parents are out of town at some convention. My dad's a lawyer and they are constantly going out of town. I'm their built-in babysitter."

"Oh," Alex replied.

"Otherwise I would!" Jackie added and Alex felt a bit better.

"Here's my phone number, call me if you are totally bored out of your mind. Maybe you can come over and we can watch a movie at my house. A G-rated one for the kids of course," Jackie smiled and Alex felt his pulse quicken as she wrote her number on the palm of his hand.

"Sure," was all he could say.

"See ya, Alex," Jackie waved as she boarded the arriving bus.

"See ya," Alex responded as the bus pulled out, spitting out black exhaust on its way.

* * *

Alex didn't call Jackie that weekend. Jerry didn't give him the chance. He advised Alex not to appear too needy. To play it cool. Alex was weary of Jerry's advice, but when they compared the number of dates they'd each had in the last year (over 20 for Jerry, three for Alex), Alex gave in and did as Jerry suggested.

Jerry kept Alex busy with parties and watching baseball games and golf tourney's on TV. Alex never was into sports, but watching them with Jerry he found an appreciation. There was a lot more going on then Alex ever realized; his father had never once watched any sporting event on TV, not even golf. Jerry had been flabbergasted at the thought.

As Sunday night approached, Alex wondered where the weekend had gone. Just before bed, he called his parents and gave them an abbreviated version of his first week. They were happy he was having a good time, but they missed him. Alex wished he could honestly say the same.

Monday morning came and Alex felt nervous about seeing Jackie. But when they met up in class, she didn't say anything about him not calling, and Alex didn't feel the need to explain. They continued on as if nothing had happened, and they continued to grow in their friendship over the next week.

Alex told Jackie about the wild's of Montana and of his family, while he learned more about Jackie's family as well; her 4 year old brother John, and 8 year old twin sisters Jessica and Jasmine. They were able to connect on the fact that they were both much older then their siblings. Still Alex fought the urge to confide in her about the adoption. But again he kept that secret to himself.

The second week of the program was more grueling than the first. Alex felt he deserved a full year's credit for completing the session, not just 8 measly credit-hours. He knew the others felt the same. Burnout was inevitable and the weekend came around again, just in time. Jackie managed to escape before Alex could talk to her, so he found himself debating once again on making that phone call.

This time Jerry said he should call, and that was all the prompting Alex needed. Friday night about 7:15, Alex dialed the number Jackie had given and felt his throat close up on him.

Three rings and nothing…Alex almost hung up but then he heard an answer.

"Ramirez residence," a woman's voice answered, probably Jackie's mom.

"Yes, hello, is Jackie available please?" Alex managed to spit out.

"I'm sorry, she's busy at the moment. Can I take a message?" The woman was all politeness.

"Oh, yeah. Uh…just tell her Alex called," he replied, stammering and feeling like an idiot.

Nothing but silence from the other end and for a moment Alex wondered if they'd lost the connection.

"Did you say Alex?" The woman asked and Alex could sense something in her voice had changed.

"Yeah, Alex. I'm one of Jackie's classmates at Northeastern," he replied as politely as he could.

"Of course you are, and your number please?"

"Right, its 999-505-3498," Alex read the numbers off the phone in the dorm room. He'd been lazy about remembering them.

"I will give her the message," the woman replied, her voice back to normal, betraying no emotion.

"Okay. Well, thanks," Alex paused, "Bye?"

But the woman had already hung up the phone.

"So?" Jerry immediately pounced.

"She was busy, I think that was her mom. She said she'd give Jackie my message," Alex slowly placed the phone back on the cradle. "It was weird though...," Alex paused, trying to put his finger on what it was that struck him as odd.

"Do you think Jackie has talked about me to her mom? Like in a bad way?" Alex finally asked, unsure of what else could be wrong with the situation.

Jerry shrugged.

"Nothing you can do if she did, man. Let's go get some pizza, I'm starving," Jerry stood and slid his wallet into his back pocket.

"We just had dinner like an hour ago!" Alex laughed.

"What can I say, I'm a growing boy," Jerry moved towards the door. "Let's go dude!"

Laughing, Alex slid his feet into his shoes and followed Jerry out into the night. He didn't hear the phone start to ring as the door slammed shut behind him and jogged down the hall after Jerry.

It occurred to Alex around midnight that Jackie might try calling him back that night, and he and Jerry had not set up their answering machine yet. Alex's mom had given him their old answering machine for use in the dorm, since they didn't have the ability to use electronic voicemail. It was still in the box on the floor of Alex's closet.

"Damn," he said under his breath as the room around him exploded with jeers and cheers. Jerry had dragged Alex, after pizza, to another dorm where ten or so guys were sitting around playing video games.

"You wanna turn, Alex?" Jerry stood from the bean bag he had been lounging in and offered the controller. Alex, who hated video games almost as much as most girls he knew, shook his head.

"Your loss man," Jerry shrugged and handed the controller to a big guy who was obviously one of the football players. Alex didn't even know his name and to be honest he didn't want to know it.

It was three hours before Jerry was ready to leave, and Alex, feeling like the worlds biggest failure as a guy, couldn't have been happier. He'd been too unsure of himself to leave without Jerry, and that made him angry with himself as well.

The next day, Saturday, Alex woke up about 11:30am. The sun was shining outside and he could faintly hear the cries and laughter of the other kids on the campus.

Sitting up in his bed, Alex saw Jerry sprawled across his bed, mouth hanging open, still dead to the world.

As silently as he could, Alex quickly dressed and headed down to the cafeteria for an early lunch. Since the phone tag didn't seem to be working, Alex was going to take a more direct approach and go to Jackie's house. He knew it was a risk and he was sure Jerry would try to talk him out of it. Part of the reason he wanted to eat lunch alone was so Jerry didn't get that chance.

Twenty minutes later Alex was back out on the street, heading towards the bus transfer station that was adjacent to the campus. He nervously and subconsciously pulled his "Bozeman Bears" cap down hard on his head as he held his money. The schedule said he had about five minutes to wait. And nearly right on time Alex saw the bus approaching. He checked once more that he had her address (he'd torn it from the student directory that had been handed out the first day) and boarded.

It was only a ten minute ride. Jackie and her family lived fairly close to the campus, in a large brownstone-style house that was at least four stories. Alex was impressed. He'd come from a modest community of ranch style homes that weren't any bigger then 3000 square feet. Alex guessed this had to be between 5000 and 6000 square feet. More if there was a basement. He was impressed with the appearance of everything. The street was tree lined and quiet even for a Saturday. There were a few people out walking small dogs and one young woman jogging.

Alex mounted the ten steps to the double-front doors and rang the bell. He heard a musical chime echo through the house; soon followed by rapid footsteps. Kid steps if he had to guess. It sounded a lot like when Crystal would go running through the house.

Alex smoothed his shirt, pulled down on his cap once more, and arranged his face in a pleasant expression as the door opened and a young boy stared out at him.  _This has to be John_ , Alex thought as the young boys large dark eyes searched his appearance.

"Who are you?" he asked, staring.

"John!"

Alex heard a woman call and the little boy turned away from him.

"It's a boy, mommy," he yelled back, turning to look at Alex once again.

"Are you here to see Jackie?" He asked and Alex had to fight the urge to laugh.

"John! How many times have I told you not to answer the door without asking who it is first!"

A woman, Jackie's mother, came into view and Alex immediately knew where Jackie got her looks, and from whom. Her mother was beautiful. Tall, and slender, with dark blonde hair and kind eyes. It was like looking at an older version of Jackie; or Jackie was like a younger version of this woman-either way, Alex felt his face begin to warm.

The woman turned towards Alex with a kind smile.

"Hello, Jackie's not here," she smiled and Alex felt a stab of disappointment. "She works Saturday's."

"Oh," was all Alex could say.

"Have we met?" Jackie's mother cocked her head a little as her expression changed from one of polite kindness to one of curiosity. "You look so familiar."

"No, we haven't met, but I talked to you on the phone last weekend. I'm Alex," Alex held out his hand and watched as Jackie's mothers face changed from curious to slight shock to confusion back to the expression of polite kindness she had wore when she first came to the door.

"Alex, it's nice to meet you, I'm Isabel Ramirez, Jackie's mom; obviously," she laughed and Alex thought he sensed a bit of nervousness to it.

"It's nice to meet you Mrs. Ramirez," Alex smiled as kindly as he could while they shook hands.

"Please, call me Isabel, I still don't feel old enough to be a Mrs.-anything!"

Alex laughed, feeling relieved that whatever had caused her discomfort seemed to have disappeared.

"I'll let Jackie know you stopped by," Isabel said, "she has your number, right?"

"Yeah," Alex couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed. Whatever oddness that might have occurred upon their first meeting was gone, and Alex felt a strange draw to this woman. Was it because of Jackie? He didn't know. All he knew was that he didn't want to go back to the cold, lonely dorm. Even little John, who had been standing and staring at them both the whole time, felt more comfortable then the dorm room.

"Do you know when you expect her?" Alex asked, hoping maybe he could wait around.

"Not until late," Isabel smiled warmly, and Alex wondered if she knew his feelings. "I'm sorry Alex, but I have to get going; I will tell Jackie you stopped by."

"Thanks, Mrs. Rami-I mean, Isabel," Alex smiled and backed away a few steps as Isabel gently closed the door. He could hear her and John talking behind it and for a moment, Alex wanted nothing more then to be a part of a family again.

Alex heard it from Jerry when he got back to the room a few hours later. And after hours of teasing and hassle that Jerry dished out, Alex was sure Jackie would never call him, and that come Monday she would request a new lab partner.

He was surprised when around 9:30 that night, the phone rang, and it was her.


	2. Something

Jackie and Alex talked on the phone for nearly an hour. Only when Isabel called Jackie away from the phone did they say their goodbyes.

Jerry had left Alex in the room to go play video games with the same group of guys from the night before, so Alex was alone with his thoughts. He tried to recall the things he and Jackie had talked about, but it seemed they'd just gossiped about movies and music and other things of little substance. They discovered they liked a lot of the same things, and they'd laughed when they figured out they both hated science fiction. It was all so clichéd, they had agreed. Alex also found out Jackie's full name was Jacqueline Evans Ramirez; so Alex felt obligated to return the favor and admit his full name was Alexander Jacob Martin. Neither of them liked their full names, and both held their mother's maiden names as their middle name. Alex tried to count up the similarities but found there were already so many it was impossible. They joked how they could be twins they were so similar, and for a moment Alex nearly blurted out the adoption. It was maddening for Alex to try and figure out what it was he felt for Jackie. It wasn't attraction but then he loved hanging out with her. It was more than friendship, but Alex was slowly realizing he wasn't feeling the urge to kiss her when they were together. It was awesome to have such a close friend, but part of him couldn't help but fantasize about calling home and telling his high school friends about the hot chick he was dating.

About midnight, as Alex lay in his extra-long twin bed, he realized what it was. She was like a sister; and a new part of him fantasized that maybe they really were related. Maybe Isabel had given him up before she met Jackie's father? He knew it was impossible, but still a part of him hoped. For the first time since finding out about his adoption, Alex started to wonder about the "other" family he might have out in the world somewhere. Maybe his birth parents were still together and he had a whole other set of siblings waiting to be met? He chose not to think about the alternative. The thoughts excited him and crushed him at the same time.

As a result, sleep was a hard fought battle that night, and not restful once attained.

The next three weeks were a blur of lab write-ups, lectures, and quizzes. Alex and Jackie spent a lot of time studying together and cementing their friendship as nothing more then just that. Alex learned Jackie had been dating off and on through the summer a guy who was going to be a senior in her old High School. So Alex found himself the sounding board for their various problems and arguments. At first it bothered him, but soon he was looking forward to giving his advice and playing his little part in the drama.

A few days before the midterm exams Alex received a call from his parents. They were coming for a visit. Fighting mixed feelings, Alex confided in Jackie about his uneasiness with their visit. He still hadn't confessed what he considered his "dirty little secret" to her, but now that his parents were coming, would he have too? Would Jackie pick up on the blond-haired, blue-eyed family and immediately know Alex wasn't really one of them with his dark brown hair and brown eyes?

In any case, Jackie was anxious to meet them and pestered Alex to arrange it. Alex balked, but in the end, they decided to have dinner together that Saturday night. Alex had fought it as best he could, playing up the fact that he still hadn't met Jackie's dad, but she wouldn't budge.

The midterm came that Friday, and Alex did nearly perfect on the exam. He hoped it was a good omen for the remainder of the weekend.

It was nearly 7pm when Alex answered his phone to hear his dad laughing about some silly thing Crystal had just said or done, and announcing they had arrived. They decided to meet up for a late dinner. Jerry conveniently disappeared again; but Alex didn't mind a bit. Knowing what he did, he felt certain that everyone who saw him with his family would know he didn't really belong.

His parents were right on time, and both his mom and dad gave big hugs, excited to see him and curious to see where he'd been living the last month or so. Crystal was really impressed, and Alex couldn't help but try to boost that impression, playing up the coolness of having a brother in college.

They decided to go to an Italian restaurant just down the street from the dorm. Alex hoped there wouldn't be any of his classmates there, and that they wouldn't see anyone on the walk to the restaurant. He felt guilty for being so ashamed of his family-and he wished it were easier for him to get over the immense disappointment he'd felt when he'd learned the truth.

As they walked, Crystal chattered incessantly about Jonah, her toy poodle that was staying with their Uncle Doug for the weekend. Apparently, he'd learned how to jump up on the back of the sofa and open the rolling window. Alex laughed, imagining the tiny ball of fur rotating his head trying to crank open the window. His parents didn't think it was so funny, which made Alex and Crystal laugh harder.

Once at the restaurant, Alex's father proclaimed happy tidings when their wait was not long and soon they were quickly seated.

"So, Alex, tell us how this summer program is going," his father asked as they handed the waiter their menu's after ordering.

"It's going good," Alex shrugged. Suddenly he didn't know what to tell them. Neither of his parents were very scientifically intellectual, they were both History teachers at the local community college in Montana.

"Good? How so? Tell us about it! Have you made any friends?" his mother gushed, leaning forward as if Alex were about to spill all the secrets of the world.

"I don't know. It's just good. I'm learning some new things, and even though there's a lot of work I think I'll be prepared when the real semester begins in a month," Alex took a giant gulp of his Coke and ignored the carbonation burning in his nose.

"Do you have a girlfriend?" Crystal piped up, grinning evilly.

"A girlfriend?" Alex turned sideways and tickled his sister, her squealing protestations eliciting looks from the surrounding tables.

"Alex, please," his mother whispered frantically, trying to nod apologetically to everyone in the restaurant.

"What do you know about it?" Alex said as he pulled back his hands and laughed, Crystal trying to tickle him back.

"I know stuff," she huffed, giving up after Alex failed to react appropriately to her attempts.

"Sure you do," Alex winked and Crystal beamed proudly.

"Well? Do you?" his father added, while Alex's mother continued to look around them to see if anyone else was still bothered by their noise.

"No, dad, I don't have a girlfriend," Alex's sudden good mood started to sour a bit.

"Are you still getting along with your roommate?" his mother finally added, and Alex nodded.

"Yeah, Jerry's cool. He's the first in his family to go to college," Alex saw the shocked, but impressed looks on his parent's faces. He guessed since they were college professors they figured everyone Alex's age went to college.

"Yes, mom and dad, there are still places in the world where kids my age can't afford to, or don't want to go to college," Alex admonished them.

Moments later the food arrived and there was no discussion for a while. Alex thought about Jackie and how he should tell his parents about her. They would meet her tomorrow, and he had to make sure they didn't assume anything about their relationship.

"So, I did make this one really awesome friend, and she wants to meet you. So I invited her to dinner with us tomorrow night," Alex finally blurted out between mouthfuls of baked ziti. Both his parents paused, forks mid-air as they stared at Alex.

"Her?" Crystal giggled.

"Yes, her. But we're just friends. And lab partners. Her name is Jackie and she lives here in Boston, with her parents. She's really nice, and when I told her you were coming she said she wanted to meet you," Alex stopped talking, realizing he wasn't convincing them of the plutonic relationship he'd proclaimed. Instead he shoveled another mouthful of baked ziti and sat in silence while his family also concentrating on eating.

It was his mother who broke the silence.

"Well, I can't wait to meet this friend of yours," she smiled at Alex.

He regretted the decision immediately.

* * *

Saturday Alex spent the morning doing some homework while his family went to the Franklin Park Zoo. His dad had surprised him at the end of dinner the night before with a pair of tickets to see the Boston Red Sox on Sunday, so Alex had to excuse himself from their day trip so he could complete his lab and writing assignment that was due Monday.

Jackie and Alex agreed to meet on campus, at the dorm, and wait for Alex's parents for dinner that night. He was a little nervous, as Jackie hadn't been to his dorm before. Jerry decided to wait around this time. He told Alex he wanted to meet his parents, but Alex was sure he really wanted to meet Jackie.

Jackie arrived only minutes before Alex's parents, and before Jerry could embarrass anyone too much, they were off. Jerry declining to join them as he had a real date to keep, he had said as he'd winked at Alex.

Alex could tell his parents were impressed with Jackie. She was very polite and great with Crystal. He couldn't tell if she'd noticed how different he looked then the rest of his family. But if she did, she didn't show it and Alex relaxed a bit.

Dinner was uneventful, and Alex, worried that his mother would embarrass him with inappropriate questions, was very diplomatic.  _Maybe he'd underestimated them_ , Alex thought as he began to relax and enjoy the night. His father asked about Jackie's family, and Alex learned something new himself, that her mother was from Roswell, New Mexico. Immediately Alex's father started making jokes about aliens and UFO's. Jackie laughed politely, but Alex could tell she was a bit uncomfortable. Alex quickly changed to subject back to school, and Jackie started to relax again.

After dinner, Alex's father offered to accompany Jackie on the cab ride home, but she insisted it was fine; she was used to riding in cabs alone. She'd grown up in Boston.

Alex mimed the telephone to her as she got in the cab, and she nodded slightly.

Back at the dorm, his parents and sister in their own hotel for the night (so Crystal could swim in the pool, she had been asking all day, apparently), Alex dialed Jackie's house. A man answered and Alex had to assume it was Jackie's father.

"Yes, hello sir, is Jackie at home, please?" Alex tried to sound as polite and adult as he could, unsure why he felt it was so important to impress Jackie's father.

"She is, may I tell her who is calling?" he countered back.

"Alex," he blurted.

"I've heard a lot about you, Alex," Jackie's father responded and Alex could hear Jackie in the background, "here she is."

"Hey Alex, sorry about that," Jackie laughed.

"No problem," Alex replied.

The phone was silent for a moment as Alex encountered his first uncomfortable silence with Jackie.

"I just got home like five minutes ago, so good timing on the call," Jackie finally said and Alex heard loud footsteps echoing on her end of the phone.

"Cool," he replied. He was unsure how to proceed, the questions bouncing around in his head seemed far too direct and odd to just blurt out.

"So I had a good time tonight," Jackie added, her tone trying to lead Alex to engage in the conversation.

"Yeah? My parents were happy to meet you," he added.

"They were nice," Jackie paused and Alex waited for it, certain the next words out of her mouth would be,  _but are you adopted?_

"Your sister is adorable."

"What?" Alex, expecting to hear one thing, instead found it hard to process what was really said.

"Alex, what is wrong? You have been acting odd all night? At least odd for what I can tell."

Alex felt his throat close up and no matter how badly he wanted to speak, the words wouldn't form.

"Are you still there?" Jackie asked.

"Yes," Alex finally croaked.

"Look, you don't have to talk to me, but you should talk to someone. Maybe Jerry?" Jackie offered.

"No way. Jerry wouldn't understand." Alex laughed bitterly.

"Understand what?" Jackie asked, gently pressing.

Alex suddenly felt his whole life's history flashing before his eyes, ending with the night he was doing his biology homework and came across the basic Mendel's square in his biology book illustrating dominant and recessive genes for eye color.

"Did you notice anything tonight about me and my family?" He finally asked.

"No, not really," Jackie answered. Alex thought he could hear some hesitation in her voice.

"You didn't notice that they are all blond haired and blue eyed, and I'm dark haired and brown eyed?"

"Well, yes, I noticed that, but so what? Not everyone looks like their parents," Jackie replied and Alex sighed. He'd hoped she'd understand his question without him having to say the words.

"Jackie, I'm adopted," Alex blurted. Speaking the word out loud for only the second time since he'd found out.

"Oh," was her reply.

So Alex began at the beginning, the night he'd found out and how he'd never told another soul about the adoption. Not even his best friends back home. They talked about Alex's birth parents, and for the first time, Alex expressed his interest in seeking them out.

It was nearly two hours later before Jackie and Alex hung up the phone. But not before Jackie promised they would approach her dad about searching out Alex's birth parents. A task that suddenly, Alex was more excited to pursue then he would have ever considered possible.


	3. I Don't Know Why

Alex was nervous. His head was filled with so many questions, and possibilities, never mind the fact that he was meeting Jackie's dad for the first time too.

It had been nearly two weeks since Alex's parents had visited and since he had revealed what he'd considered his "skeleton in the closet" to Jackie. He didn't know what he'd expected from her, all he knew was that her support had been nothing but strengthening. Alex found himself talking about his anger, and the lie of a life he'd had before he found out the truth. And he found himself beginning to heal a bit. He actually called home himself one night, instead of waiting for his parents to call him.

He felt like he was closing the door on the old Alex, and figuring out who he was going to become with the new knowledge of his past.

Jackie's promise to have her father look into the adoption, while welcome, was a bit frightening. After the night Alex told her the truth, he hadn't mentioned her promise again, and after a week passed Alex thought she'd forgotten about it herself. But yesterday he was shocked and surprised to hear that he was invited over to the Ramirez's for dinner that Saturday night, and Jackie's father was going to talk to him.

So he found himself on the bus, stomach up in arms with butterflies and nausea, fear and excitement. He wanted to make a good impression on Jackie's father, not only for his help, but for Jackie. They were such good friends he couldn't stand the thought that her family might not like him.

As the bus reached approached the stop at the corner near Jackie's house, Alex reached up and pulled the "request stop" line, and a bell sounded through the cabin of the bus indicating the bus would be stopping.

The two other people on the bus, an older woman and a teenager in gothic attire, watched with disinterest as Alex disembarked and waited for the bus to pull away before jogging across the street. A few minutes later he was standing in front of the door to his future. He took a deep breath before he rang the bell.

It seemed as though hours passed before a shadow appeared through the frosted glass on the door, pulling it open. Isabel Ramirez smiled at Alex as she welcomed him inside. Alex, forgetting his nerves for a moment, looked around the entryway of the Ramirez's grand home. It was his first time getting a look inside the home he'd envied from the outside not so long ago. His eyes searched the entryway, taking in everything; the vase of flowers, the antique hat rack, the umbrella stand just inside the door. The floor was white, and looked like marble. Alex was impressed. Not a thing was out of place, not a grain of dust to be found. He smiled inwardly as he wondered what this family would think of his own home, not nearly as neat, nor nearly as tidy (the dog hair a constant battle), and certainly not as fancy.

"Hey Alex," Jackie came into the entry.

"Hi," Alex replied, the nerves finding their way back again.

"I'll let Jesse know you're here," Isabel moved across the entryway calling over her shoulder, "dinner will be in about ten minutes you two!"

"This is some house you've got," Alex smiled, noting the three archways flanked by columns leading out of the entryway, and the spiral staircase leading up and out of sight with an ornate wrought iron rail.

"It's just home," Jackie shrugged, grabbing Alex's hand and pulling him towards the spiral staircase. "Come on, I want to show you something!"

Up the staircase they went, then down a long hallway to a set of double doors. Jackie opened them up to a large bedroom with a pink canopy bed in the center of the room.

Alex stopped and raised his eyebrows at his friend.

"I know. Look, I was ten when I got the bed, and my parents refuse to get rid of it until the stupid thing breaks or rots. Who knows when that'll be. Sometimes I wish they wouldn't spend so much money on such high quality items. And I don't know why they let me pick something so awful when I was only ten years old anyway. But that's not what I wanted to show you," Jackie grabbed him again and pulled him towards the far wall where two large window seats, covered with decorative pillows and stuffed animals, flanked a large desk. Alex could see the street out front of the house through the windows. He turned his attention to the desk, which held three microscopes, several boxes of slides, pipettes, droppers, beakers and many other pieces of lab equipment. On a shelf right above the desk were two glass terrariums with a turtle in each.

"Whoa," Alex eyed the equipment with awe. "I wish my parent's were rich," he said absently, looking through the nearest microscope.

"Whatever, most of this was second hand," Jackie smiled proudly, "but these are my turtles, Han and Leia. I'm trying to make them mate, but it's been a little rough. Remember, I told you about them a few weeks ago."

Alex nodded and laughed. Both turtles were, in their respective terrariums, pulled into their shells and directly underneath their heat lamps.

"Very cool," Alex peered at the turtles for a moment longer before taking a more detailed look at Jackie's room. It was a contradiction in nearly every way. Pink canopy bed, her own little science lab, a giant overstuffed chair and ottoman in front of a wall mounted flat screen TV, on the floor the controller to what looked like an X-box360 (based on Alex's previous gaming experience with Jerry and his friends). On the walls were a few posters of horses, the periodic table of elements, a movie poster for "Singin' in the Rain", another for Star Wars, and several photo collages of what Alex assumed were friends and family.

The floor was hardwood, but scattered here and there were funky colored rugs, teen magazines, and next to her bed was a stack of CDs, all The Beatles. In the corner near another door that Alex assumed was the closet was a sewing machine and dress form, on which was pinned some shiny purple fabric. Alex was more impressed then before. He'd rarely met a person like Jackie who could diversify her interests so much, and not be afraid to display them.

"You aren't allowed to have boys in your room," a small voice startled Alex and he turned towards the source.

"It's just Alex," Jackie replied. "That's Jasmine, one half of the terror twins," Jackie smiled and Jasmine crossed her arms defensively.

"Hi," Alex said, feeling slightly awkward as the little girl stared hard at him, her eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Mom says it's time for dinner," Jasmine finally said, turning sharply on her heel, her long dark hair flying. Alex stifled a laugh at the sound of her stomping down the wood floors in the hallway.

"Don't mind her. She's really the terror half of the twins. Jess is much sweeter," Jackie winked as they followed Jasmine down to the dining room.

"Though I love them both," Jackie laughed.

* * *

Dinner went much smoother then Alex might have predicted. Jesse, Jackie's dad, was really friendly and engaged Alex in casual chatter, and there was never a lull in the conversation. The twins and John simply ate in silence, their heads moving back and forth between Alex and their father, then towards Jackie or their mother when they spoke. Alex felt extremely comfortable in the company of the Ramirez's, even though Jasmine would occasionally glare at him.

After dessert, Alex felt a bit of awkwardness descend upon the room. Isabel excused herself to take the other kids upstairs, while Jackie began clearing the table. Alex started to stand and help, but Jackie quickly pushed him back down.

Soon Alex and Jesse were the only ones left at the table.

"Well, Alex, shall we go into my study and talk about what you really came over here for?" Jesse smiled and stood.

"Ah, sure," Alex replied, suddenly feeling like he was not a guest of the family, but a client of the lawyer.

Alex followed Jesse through the kitchen where Jackie was loading the dishwasher, into a large room with floor-to-ceiling bookshelves that were full of thick, leather bound volumes that all looked the same. There was a large mahogany desk in the center of the room. Behind the desk were two large floor-to-ceiling windows that looked out on a narrow grassy yard. Alex could see a small swing set, and the upper floors of the house behind them through the windows.

"Sit down," Jesse said as he shut the door behind Alex, giving them privacy.

"Jackie tells me you might be interested in finding out about your birth family," Jesse said as he rounded his desk and sat, leaning far back in the chair.

"Yeah," Alex said slowly, suddenly feeling some hesitation.

"Do you? Or does Jackie?" Jesse smiled and leaned forward. "My daughter has a way of projecting her own desires onto people. If this is really her idea and you aren't ready let me know now."

"No, I'm ready," Alex protested quickly, and feeling rushed he paused. "I mean, I'm pretty sure I want to do this. I feel like I need to know where I came from."

Jesse nodded and pulled out a legal pad. Yellow lined paper. Alex laughed.

"I thought that stuff was only used in the movies," he said, pointing to the pad of paper.

"Oh no," Jesse smiled, "we use it all the time actually."

"Now Alex, you told me your parents are in Montana?" Jesse questioned as he began scribbling on the legal pad.

"Yeah, I've lived there all my life."

"So, presumably, you went straight to Montana from wherever your birth parents were from," Jesse said as he continue to scribble. Alex only grunted an affirmative answer as he watched the paper quickly fill, and Jesse turned the sheet over, starting on the next page.

"Is there anything at all that you know about the adoption, or your birth parents?" Jesse looked up from his writing expectantly.

"Oh, ah no," Alex stammered, caught by surprise. He shrugged as if it was his fault. "I mean I never wanted to know before now, and my parents never offered to tell me anything."

Jesse nodded as his hand moved quickly across the page of the tablet.

There was a long silence where nothing but the scratch of Jesse's pen could be heard.

"Uh, is there a bathroom I can use," Alex croaked, the silence beginning to grate his nerves.

"Out the door, down the hall on your left," Jesse never looked up as he continued writing.

Alex stood and moved towards the door. He looked back to see Jesse stand and pull a book off a shelf full of similar books, then open it directly to a page and start to write again.

In the bathroom, Alex washed his face and hands. It was suddenly more real then ever.  _It might actually happen. I might actually find out who my parents, my real birth parents, are._  Smiling at his reflection, Alex opened the bathroom door and returned to the office. He heard voices as he neared, indistinct at first. Standing in the opne doorway he saw Isabel in front of Jesse's desk, Jesse nodding as Isabel spoke.

"He looks just like him," Isabel said, "so be careful with this, Jesse. I know I don't have to remind you-,"

It was then that Jesse saw Alex standing in the doorway.

"Alex!" Jesse smiled wide and with that Alex knew without a doubt that they had been talking about him. He saw Isabel's shoulders stiffen a little, then relax as she turned and smiled.

"I brought you boys some tea," she indicated towards the small table that sat between the two armchairs in front of Jesse's desk. A teapot and two tea cups sat, and Alex could see a thin wisp of steam rising from the spout of the teapot.

"Thanks," Alex smiled widely, hoping it looked sincere and deciding he'd pretend he didn't know they'd just been talking about him.

"I'll leave you two alone now," Isabel left the room, closing the door silently behind her.

"Why don't you pour some of that tea," Jesse said as he looked back over his notes, leaving Alex to wonder who exactly it was that he looked like.

* * *

Alex didn't see Jackie again until Monday. It had been late when he'd left the Ramirez's house, and Jackie was already asleep as she had to work early the next morning. Jesse had offered to drive Alex back to the dorm but Alex needed some time to think, so he waited for the late night bus.

The next day, Sunday, Alex and Jerry spent the day on the Athletic Fields, playing soccer, Frisbee, and a poorly organized game of baseball. Alex, who had never desired to play a sport in his life, suddenly wanted to do anything that would keep his mind off what he'd overheard the night before. And what surprised Alex the most was that he wasn't that bad at any of the games they played.

When Alex and Jerry returned to the room that evening there was a message from Jackie on the answering machine. Jerry tried to question Alex why he didn't want to call her back, but Alex shut him down, declaring he was tired and going to bed at 9pm. He didn't sleep at all, but he didn't want to talk about the adoption yet, at least not with Jerry.

* * *

The following Monday morning when Alex saw Jackie, she told him her father would contact him when he had anything to report. Alex nodded in understanding and quickly changed the subject. Jackie appeared a little hurt, but soon they were immersed in lab work and her spirits seemed to rebound.

The campus was gearing up for the fall semester, and the summer term was entering its last two weeks. The students were bogged down with work, and were spending much of their free time studying for the series of final exams that would be held the last two days of the following week. Alex had received near 100% on all his assignments over the summer and even though he knew he would get an "A" just for showing up to the test and writing his name on the paper, he threw himself into studying.

He knew he was being unfair, pulling away from Jackie, but he felt odd and uncomfortable. Her parents knew or thought they knew something about him, and the more he thought about it, the more it bothered him until he began to feel angry. Jackie must have sensed that something had changed, because she began to give him space, and by the last week of the summer term they were barely speaking to each other except during their labs.

The morning of the final exams, Jerry and Alex had breakfast together. Jerry was heading home right after his exams, and spending the two weeks before classes began in August with his family. Alex wished he were doing the same. Now that he and Jackie were in this uncomfortable place with each other, he knew he'd be feeling pretty lonely in the dorm. Leaving the cafeteria, Alex made a snap decision and running back to his room he did a quick search for airfare and found a flight to Montana for under $200. Without taking the time to think about it Alex purchased the fare and immediately felt a sense of calm.

He needed to get away from all this stuff for a bit, get some distance. Alex took five more minutes to compose a quick note to Jackie, then folding it he grabbed his backpack headed off to his final.

Things were looking up again.


	4. Transitions

His parents had been surprised, but happy to see him. Alex had decided not to call and tell them he was coming. It had been worth it to see the looks on their faces when he walked in the door during dinner.

Jackie had been confused when Alex had handed her the short apology note he'd written, but she was happy he was going to go home for a little bit. Alex promised to call her before he came back and they awkwardly said their goodbyes.

Being at home was comforting, yet strange at the same time and Alex, two days into his visit, felt the guilt begin to creep in. The guilt he'd been avoiding since starting the process to find his birth parents. He wasn't sure if he should talk to his parents, hoping but also afraid, of what they might know. So Alex spent many of his days out in the forest behind his parent's property thinking about the situation.

He would spend hours hiking the network of trails that had been formed over the decades from the frequent use of the neighborhood. He followed the game trails too, and more then once he'd startled deer or elk out of hiding.

One week after he'd surprised his parents by walking in the door, they called him to the kitchen. Crystal was at a friend's house, so the three sat around the table. Alex was not sure he was ready for the conversation he was certain they were about to have.

"We've noticed you've been a bit distant since you came home," his mother started, smiling empathetically, "are you and Jackie having problems?"

"Mom!" Alex cried, exasperated. "How many times do I have to tell you, we are just friends! And no, we aren't having problems. I just felt a bit homesick is all!"

"Alex, does this have anything to do with the, uh, the adoption stuff?" Alex's father, always to the point, blurted as he shuffled his feet, kicking the leg of the table and causing the glasses of water sitting before them all to slosh within their clear confines.

"I guess it does," Alex sighed, suddenly very tired. The idea of coming up with more excuses suddenly seemed like more than he could handle. It was time his parents knew everything. Not telling them wouldn't be fair, and if they did have any information Alex wanted to know about it.

"You should know that I've decided to try and find my birth parents," Alex blurted, his heart aching at the immediate pain and fear he saw in his mother's expression. His father simply stared at the tablecloth, his thumb picking at a piece of dried food.  _There was no dried food on the Ramirez's table_ , Alex thought guiltily.

"Okay," his mother finally responded quietly, clasping her hands in her lap. Alex noticed her knuckles were white.

"You should know, Alex, that the adoption was closed…I mean," Alex's father glanced up at Alex, "we don't know where you came from or anything about the situation of your birth."

"Oh," Alex said dumbly, slowly nodding. He vaguely understood that a closed adoption meant things were sealed. The information was private. Which ultimately meant his birth parents didn't want to be found.

As the implications of that realization began to dawn on him, Alex started to cry. It wasn't enough that he hadn't been wanted by his birth parents, but they obviously had never wanted him to find them either. He had truly been unwanted. Suddenly he felt so completely alone and isolated; more then he had even when he'd discovered the truth about the adoption. Up to now he had slowly been growing secure in the hope that he might figure out where he came from, and that it would help him decide where to go with his life. Hearing those hopes were dashed, Alex was unprepared for the emotional avalanche that accompanied.

"Oh, honey," his mother moved to his side and pulled him to her. Alex, feeling like a little boy, clutched at her and sobbed into her stomach, staining her button down blouse with is tears.

"Why," Alex whispered hoarsely, after the sobs had subsided. His mother stepped back and tilted his chin upwards until he was forced to look at her.

"There is no why; and there's no use in trying to figure it out. Oh Alex! Remember you are loved. And you are wanted. Your father and I wanted you so much that we traveled to Denver to get you. And you were beautiful," his mother stroked Alex's cheek.

Alex tried to smile as he wiped his nose on his shirtsleeve, laughing as his mother shook her head and handed him a napkin.

"There is one thing," his father finally spoke.

"What?"

"The lawyer that brought you to us said that the only request of the birth parents was that you had the name Zan," Alex's father shrugged. "It seemed a simple request, so we settled on Alexander as your name," Alex watched his mother reach out and gently massage the back of his father's neck.

"It wasn't exactly right, but it worked. And it was a name we'd always loved anyway," his mother finished.

"Zan," Alex repeated softly. It was the one true thing he now knew about his origins. His mind started racing, wondering if it was a first name, a last name, a nickname, a family name, anything. The feelings of abandonment began to fade like the morning frost as Alex found a new avenue to channel the energy into.

"Alex," his mother's soft voice brought Alex back to the present.

"I love you, son," she said as she leaned down and kissed each cheek, then pulled him up off the chair and into a deep hug. Alex smiled into his mother's shoulder as he hugged her back. His mind was already on the search ahead of him.

* * *

Five hours later, Alex was no closer to figuring out what Zan might or might not mean. The only thing he'd found remotely interesting was that Zan was the name of a Chinese character in a video game, Rising Zan. But all he had to do was look in the mirror to know there was no way he was part Chinese. He wondered if his birth parents were video game nuts…but it made no sense that they'd insist he be named after a random video game, just because they might have played it a lot.

Eyes burning, Alex closed his laptop and moved to his bed, lying down just for a moment to rest his eyes and his neck. He didn't even realize his exhaustion as he fell asleep almost immediately.

It was the sunlight that woke him, and the sound of Crystal running through the house screaming the lyrics to some Hannah Montana song. Alex glanced at the clock and sat up quickly when he saw it was nearly noon.

"Crystal! Leave the singing to the professionals," Alex barked as he opened his bedroom door and headed towards the kitchen, desperate for food.

"Whatever!" Crystal yelled at him. "I'm a way better singer then you!" she added as she stuck out her tongue and skipped out the front door, still singing loudly with her toy poodle Jonah trotting behind her, yipping in sync.

"Good Lord," Alex muttered as he opened the fridge and fished out the milk, pouring himself a liberal bowl of cereal.

He was still eating when his father came home.

"Finally up?" He said as he came in the mud room, dropping his leather briefcase on the washing machine.

"Long night," Alex replied, tipping the cereal bowl up and drinking the last vestiges of milk from the bottom.

"Where's mom?" he asked, setting the bowl down and wiping his face on the sleeve of his shirt.

"She wanted to run some errands so we drove to the college separately."

"When do classes start?" Alex asked.

"Monday," his father replied, unable to hide his surprise at the question.

"Don't look so shocked dad," Alex smiled as he rinsed his bowl and stacked it in the dishwasher.

"I think I'm going to head back to Boston tomorrow," Alex added as he stood in front of the sink watching Crystal outside, setting up some sort of tea party with her Care Bears. He heard his dad shift his weight behind him.

"I want to get settled back into things before the semester begins," Alex turned and saw his dad smiling weakly. "Oh, and you'll be happy to know that I got an "A" for the summer session."

"I never doubted that you wouldn't," his father replied.

"Okay, well, I have to make some phone calls," Alex drifted out of the room, unsure if he really heard what he thought he'd heard; his father saying 'I love you'.

Alex retreated to his bedroom where he dialed Jackie. He knew he owed her an explanation for his behavior prior to leaving, his note to her a dismal excuse for an apology, but he hoped she'd let that go for now. When she answered it seemed as if things were okay again, so Alex told her about the talk he'd had with his parent's, omitting the crying part, and asked if she would pass the info on to her dad.

"I would tell him, but he and my mom went to Roswell to visit my grandparents," Jackie told him.

"Why didn't you go?" Alex wondered.

"I have to work, and I just saw them before the summer session. And they're coming to Boston for my birthday and Thanksgiving. Plus, I don't like Roswell. It's a creepy town," Jackie added.

"Why, are you afraid your grandparents are aliens?" Alex laughed.

The silence on the other end told him he'd crossed an invisible line.

"I'm sorry," Alex said, no more laughter evident in his tone, sincerity replacing it. "It was a stupid attempt at a joke."

"Its fine," Jackie replied, "I'm just tired."

Though something in her voice made Alex think it wasn't all fine.

"Jackie, can we talk, like really talk, tomorrow when I get in?"

"Sure, I'll come pick you up from the airport and we'll go somewhere and chat."

"Thanks," Alex smiled into the phone.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Alex," was her reply, and then she was gone.

* * *

His mother cried, his father shuffled his feet a lot, and Crystal hid in her bedroom, but eventually Alex made it out the door, into the taxi, and to the airport with time to spare. Sitting in the terminal Alex tried to formulate what he'd say to Jackie that wouldn't sound accusatory towards her parents. Doodling around the crossword puzzle he'd started but never finished his mind tried to figure out if there was any hope at all.

When the plane boarded, he was no closer to any solution.

* * *

Jackie was there at baggage claim waiting. She seemed distant. Alex hoped she wasn't still upset with him for the bad joke he'd made about her grandparents being aliens.  _It's not like it could be true_ , he thought.

Once Alex's bags were claimed and they were loaded into the car they headed back towards the campus. They'd decided to go to a coffee shop that was just across the street from the dorm.

Alex paid for their two coffees and they sat down. Laughing, Alex shook his head as he realized he was still clutching the crossword puzzle he'd been working on since leaving Montana. He set it on the table. It had spent nearly all day in his sweaty hand and the newsprint was smudged, Alex's fingertips also blackened with the soot. Wiping his hand on his jeans, Alex leveled his gaze at Jackie.

"Jackie, I'm sorry."

She looked back at him through narrowing eyes.

"So you've said. Many times," she coolly replied, sipping her drink.

"Look, I'm just dealing with some stuff and I'm not sure what to make of it all," Alex felt his blundering self losing control of the situation. One he was certain he'd never really had control over in the first place.

"When I was at your house I overheard your parents talking," Alex paused as Jackie looked at him with raised eyebrows.

"And?" She finally asked when he didn't continue.

"And they were talking about me. Like they knew something. Like it was dangerous to try and find my birth parents."

"Dangerous? That's ridiculous," Jackie stared at Alex, any trace of anger or doubt virtually gone from her expression, replaced by intensity and confusion.

"What'd they say, exactly?" she asked.

"I heard your mom say, 'he looks just like him', and then she told your dad that he needed to be careful. That's when they noticed me and stopped talking," Alex finished.

"But that could be about almost anything, Alex. You are being way too paranoid about this."

"I can tell when I've been the topic of conversation; and I was the topic of their conversation," Alex insisted.

"Why do you think my parents would spend their time gossiping about you? That's a little self-centered don't you think?"

"It was the tone of their voices, and they way your father tried to cover it all up," Alex's voice taking on a pleading tone. "I'm not imagining this!"

Alex watched Jackie shrug as she lowered her eyes, taking another drink of her coffee.

"Okay," she said finally.

"Okay? What does that mean? Do you know something you're not telling me?" Alex asked, his heart beating wildly. He wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer, especially if it meant Jackie had been lying to him.

"No, Alex. I don't know anything about what my parents might have meant. But I agree they meant something. But I'm sure it's fine. It's not like you're the secret son of some mob boss or something," she pursed her lips and tapped her index finger idly on her upper lip.

"Let me do some investigative research of my own," she added, as her eyes moved to the half finished, smudged and crumpled crossword puzzle sitting on the edge of the table.

Alex followed her gaze and shrugged.

"I used to be obsessed with crosswords. But I couldn't seem to concentrate on this one," Alex watched as Jackie turned the newspaper towards her, her eyebrows furrowed as she examined the page.

"You can have it," Alex said absently as he sipped his coffee.

"Can I ask you something," she finally said, virtually ignoring his previous comments.

Alex shrugged and twisted the lid off his coffee cup, pouring in another packet of sugar.

"That note you wrote me, you doodled this same shape in the corner," Jackie pointed to the unfinished crossword puzzle. Around the edges the same figure was repeated.

"Does it mean something to you?" Jackie asked, her long finger aimed at just one of the many sketches around the puzzle. It was a drawing of five circles arranged in an unsymmetrical "V" shape.

"Not really. It's just something I do when I'm bored. I have since I was a kid. You should see some of my notebooks from high school. The pages are full of these, different sizes, some really intricate, others really simple," Alex laughed.

"Why do you ask?"

"I'm just curious, It seems familiar to me and I wondered if you'd seen it in a biology textbook or something," Jackie smiled and moved her hand from the crossword puzzle and tapped Alex's hand lightly.

"I know this has been hard for you. But I'm your friend, so I have the obligation to forgive you when you act rude and inconsiderate," Jackie smiled. "It's okay. As soon as my parents get back from New Mexico I'll talk to my dad."

Alex felt a weight he hadn't realized he'd been carrying lift, and suddenly things were as they'd been before the dinner at the Ramirez house, the two friends chatting away about the insignificant pieces of their college lives.

* * *

The last week of summer break flew by at record speed. Alex and a few others from the summer session were still in the dorm, but the incoming freshman for the fall semester wouldn't be arriving until the Friday before classes began.

Alex found the empty residence hall to be welcome, and a part of him dreaded the coming onslaught of new faces. The old building had truly become his second home over the summer.

Alex spent several of his days with Jackie, helping out with her brother and sisters when the nanny wasn't working. They played a lot of "Uno", which was Jasmine's favorite game. Jasmine tended rule the other two, as Alex discovered when he asked Jessica what game she wanted to play. She had simply looked to Jasmine who had responded with, "Uno".

The Friday before classes the new students, accompanied by their parents, began to arrive laden with boxes and bedding and pieces of wood or aluminum to build lofts. Alex hid in his room. He wasn't ready to face the chaos so he watched movies nearly all day, and ordered a pizza for dinner. Jerry would be back the next day and Alex was very glad. He wasn't that good at meeting new people, and felt that with Jerry's influence he was likely to make more friends.

It was nearly 11pm when Jackie called him and told him her parents had returned from New Mexico. She had confronted her mom over what Alex had heard, and she had insisted it was innocent, unrelated to Alex. Jackie admitted she wasn't sure if she believed her. Alex thanked her, and asked if Jackie had passed on the other information, about the name.

"Yes," Jackie replied, "and I got the most peculiar looks from both my parents. I'm not sure what to make of it."

"Peculiar like familiar, or peculiar like strange?" Alex asked.

"A little of both, really."

Alex heard Jackie sigh.

"My dad said he would be in touch with you next week, he wants to meet and talk over some things, so just wait for him to call."

"Sure," Alex replied as he heard a group of laughing girls move past his door.

"I have to work all weekend, so I'll see you Monday in class."

"Yeah, Monday," Alex replied, part of him regretting the fact that he had to go back into the classroom so soon. But that was what he'd signed up for, and it was what he would do.


	5. Strangers and Friends

"Oh my God, I totally forgot to tell you this!"

Alex stared at Jackie. They were sitting in Advanced Biology waiting for the 8am class to begin. All the students from the summer session were slowly funneling into the classroom. Alex was relieved with the familiarity.

Jackie was practically bursting with excitement and Alex almost laughed she was grinning so widely.

"What!" He pressed her.

"My very best friend, who moved to New York City with her parents back in seventh grade, is coming here for school!"

Alex felt his stomach sink, but he faked excitement, grinning broadly and hoping it was convincing.

"My dad told me last week, while you were in Montana. She's going to live with us! I can't wait for you to meet her. She was going to stay in New York, but something happened and her parents decided to send her here; it's late admissions which my dad was able to help arrange for her."

Happy that Jackie was so excited, part of Alex was also a bit jealous. He'd gotten used to Jackie's undivided attention.

"What happened in New York?" Alex asked.

Jackie shrugged noncommittally, and Alex had to assume she knew but didn't want to tell.

"She's totally hip," Jackie pressed on, still gushing, "she'll be majoring in Art, and minoring in French. She's always wanted to study abroad but her parents are super strict. She's such a good artist!"

"I'm surprised they are letting her out of New York then," Alex added.

"Oh, her parents and my parents are best friends too. My mom and her dad grew up together," Jackie smiled; a little nervously it seemed.

"Cool," he replied.

"Yeah, so we should meet up tomorrow and I'll introduce you," the nervous look was quickly replaced and Jackie's face beamed.

"Yeah, tomorrow," Alex nodded as Mark Griffith, the grad student who had run the summer session, walked to the front of the classroom and called them all to order.

Alex felt it was going to be a long first week of classes.

Advanced Biology lecture and lab were the only classes that Alex had with Jackie, and the lab wasn't until Friday afternoon, so after a 50 minute lecture they bid each other farewell with plans to meet the next day at the Student Union for lunch.

Alex headed off to his next class, American History: Settling the West. He felt confident, having grown up in the West that he would do well in this class. After that he had a three hour break, then Western Literature and finally, at 4pm that afternoon, Tennis. Alex was surprised to find he expected to enjoy all his classes. His history and literature professors were both older, and both had spent time in the west teaching. Alex felt confident in their abilities to teach more then if either had been a young professor who'd never traveled west of the Mississippi river.

That evening, Jerry and Alex compared classes, sitting at a table with the girls who lived across the hall. Alex let Jerry lead the conversation, and found both girls were business majors. When they heard Alex was a Biological Sciences major, they groaned and complained, saying nothing but negative things about science and biology. Alex stayed out of the conversation after that.

Tuesday was Alex's short day, as he had only one class at 9:30am; Microbiology. Class ended at 10:45am, and with almost an hour and a half before he had to meet Jackie and her friend, Alex decided he would wander around the campus and see what there was to see now that the University contained its full compliment of students.

Alex wandered a bit aimlessly through the grassy lawn just to the south of the Library, oblivious to those around him. He stopped, his gaze settling on a small pond down a gentle slope where a gaggle of geese were paddling lazily.

"Hey! Watch it, you're in my shot!"

Alex looked around and found himself face to face with a tall girl with bright green eyes and bright pink hair that was cut short, a streak of black across the left side of her head.

"Sorry," Alex mumbled as he sidestepped the tripod she was standing behind, a large, boxy camera mounted on top.

He paused to watch as the girl leaned over and looked through the viewfinder. Alex followed the lens of the camera and assumed she was shooting the Library Clock Tower.

"Nice shot," Alex smiled, feeling very lame.

The pink-haired girl looked up at him briefly, before turning her attention back to her camera. She pulled the lens cap off and counted quietly to ten, then replaced the cap.

Alex watched with interest. He wanted to ask about her camera, but from her behavior he guessed she wasn't interested in making friends or small talk. Alex stood and watched as lifted the tripod, balancing the large camera on her shoulder, and walked off, not another glance at Alex.

"Nice," Alex mumbled, as he continued his self-guided tour around the campus.

He knew as soon as he saw the pink hair through the crowd that she was Jackie's friend from New York. Confirming his suspicions, not moments after he saw the pink hair, he saw Jackie, laughing and pointing, her friend smiling and nodding.

Alex stayed seated as they approached, hoping he could forget the rude first impression and that they could be friends. He wanted that for Jackie's sake.

"Hi," Alex smirked as the two girls approached the table he was seated at.

"Alex! This is Serenity Guerin!" Jackie rushed forward, pulling her friend, Serenity, by the hand.

"We've met, though not officially," Alex stood, holding out his hand. "I'm Alex Martin."

"Hi! Yeah, sorry about that," Serenity smiled brightly. Alex, though he fought it, smiled back as she reached out and accepted Alex's hand.

"The light was perfect and I had to get the shot," Serenity added as Alex dropped her hand.

"Sure, no problem," Alex nodded, wanting to get over it, but feeling a bit put off by the ease with which she had snubbed him.

They took turns getting lunch, Alex holding their table while the two girls got Chinese Food. Once they returned Alex went to Carl's, Jr. for a hamburger.

Conversation was awkward at first. Alex found himself resisting acceptance of Serenity. He was so set on disliking her. But watching Jackie and Serenity interact, Alex found himself drawn in, too. And she was beautiful, in an odd, understated way. She had long legs and arms, and full lips that Alex soon found himself fantasizing about kissing. She was nothing like his "type", or what he would describe as his type, but her uniqueness excited him.

Serenity asked him a few questions about his family and where he was from, but mainly the two girls chatted and reminisced about their childhoods. Alex was more an observer, a gatherer if information.

He learned that Serenity was born three days after Jackie, so the two had spent many birthdays together. This also meant that Serenity was still only 17, and the two of them laughed as they both expressed their intense desire to be 18 and able to make their own decisions finally. They briefly talked about moving into the dorm for the Spring term, once they were both 18.

It was almost one o'clock before Jackie realized she was minutes from being late to her class, so she ran off quickly, leaving Alex alone with Serenity.

They sat together in uncomfortable silence for several moments before Alex finally spoke.

"So how does Boston compare to New York?"

"I love New York, everyone is so free and individual there," Serenity smiled, "but Boston is where I grew up. My family is here, my friends."

"I thought your family was in New York still?" Alex asked.

"Yeah, my parents and my little brother are in New York, but Jackie and her family are here, and Max and Liz and their kids, too."

"Who are Max and Liz?"

Serenity's eyes widened a bit with the question.

"Max is Jackie's uncle; her mom's brother. Liz is his wife," Serenity's face betrayed her confusion. "I thought you guys were friends, has Jackie never talked about them before?"

Alex slowly shook his head, beginning to realize that maybe Jackie knew more about him then he knew about her.

"That's weird, because Max and Isabel are really close," Serenity shrugged as if it was no big deal.

"I'm sure you'll meet them eventually. They'll be at the birthday party," Serenity added.

"What birthday party?"

"Oh," Serenity paused as she looked at Alex, "Jackie's birthday party, and mine. You know, in November."

Alex nodded, but felt that things were not as they might have seemed in his relationship with Jackie.

Back in the dorm, having said his goodbyes to Serenity, Alex received a call from Jackie's dad, Jesse Ramirez. He wanted to meet with Alex and discuss some things. They agreed to meet that evening, Jesse offering to come to the dorm, and Alex insisting they meet off-campus. They finally agreed on the coffee shop where Alex and Jackie had talked the week before.

Alex arrived early, laptop in tow, hoping to get some of his homework done. He had to write a short essay for his Western Literature class discussing his knowledge and experience with western literature. He hadn't started it yet and it was due the next day.

Jesse also arrived early, so Alex had to put off his homework assignment a bit longer.

"I have some news, but you might not be happy with it," Jesse said as he sat down with his coffee.

"I checked the adoption records, and the adoption was closed. That is-,"

"For privacy reasons, no one can find out who my parents were," Alex interrupted.

"Yes," Jesse nodded, eyeing Alex curiously.

"My dad told me when I was home a few weeks ago," Alex answered the implied question.

"I'm glad you confided in your parents" Jesse nodded and sipped his coffee; "So you know there's not much else I can do. Unfortunately, in cases like these the rights of the birth parents are given priority."

"Right," Alex shook his head, the feelings of abandonment he'd been battling since he'd first heard this news trying to rear up and take hold.

"So we're done?"

"I don't know what else to do," Jesse replied.

"What about the name, Zan?" Alex asked, suddenly remembering that tiny bit of information. "Is there some kind of special database you can search, or something?"

Jesse shook his head, his eyes sad.

"I'm sorry, Alex. Deeply sorry," Jesse said, and Alex, looking at the man, realized that he was sorry. There was a deeper sadness in his expression then what Alex would have expected from him. Maybe he had underestimated his importance in Jackie's life. Surely Jesse wouldn't care this much if Alex hadn't been such good friends with his daughter.

"It's fine. I knew it was a long shot to begin with," Alex tried to sound convincing, not sure if he was successful and who he was trying to convince.

"You have my number," Jesse stood, "call me if you need anything. Any friend of Jackie's," Jesse smiled and held out his hand.

"Thanks, Mr. Ramirez," Alex stood and shook the hand of Jackie's father.

Nodding, Jesse picked up his coffee and headed out the door. Alex sat back down, not sure how he was supposed to write an essay now.

"I didn't expect to see you in here," Alex said, finding himself in line at the Library two days after his meeting with Jesse, behind the one and only Serenity Guerin.

"Art majors do come to the library too," she smiled. Alex felt his stomach lurch slightly, and catching a glimpse of glinting metal from a tongue piercing.

"What happened to the pink?" Alex asked, noting her hair was now a soft brown shade.

"I got tired of it," she replied, her free hand flying up and running through her hair, spiking it even more.

"I almost didn't recognize you without it," Alex added and Serenity smiled again.

"Where you off to now?" He asked as the line moved closer to the checkout desk.

"I'm meeting Jackie, actually. Wanna come?" Serenity asked as they stepped forward again. She was now next in line.

"Oh, no, that's okay," Alex had been avoiding Jackie's calls for the last two days. He wasn't ready to talk to her yet. He was still feeling raw and wounded from his meeting with her dad.

"Well, I'll tell her I saw you," Serenity smiled as she moved forward and set her books on the counter, handing the clerk her student ID.

The clerk scanned her ID and books and as she headed towards the door, she turned and grinned widely at Alex.

"Maybe we can hang out sometime?"

"Sure," Alex replied as he set his books on the counter, his ID on top.

"I'll be in touch," Serenity spun on her heels and was out the door.

Alex smiled and for the first time since meeting with Jesse, felt that life might go on for him.

Friday morning was Advanced Biology Lab. Alex could no longer avoid Jackie, and seeing the look on her face as he approached her in the lab he decided he wouldn't avoid her again if he could help it. She was really mad, Alex could tell that much.

"What the hell, Alex?" She growled, voice low as Alex set his backpack on the floor and pulled out his textbook and lab manual.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled.

"You seem to spend a lot of time apologizing to me!" Jackie replied.

"What's wrong?" she asked, "All I could get out of my dad was that he'd seen you. But that damned attorney client privilege kept him from saying much else."

"I'll talk to you after lab," Alex replied as the lab quieted and Mark Griffith led them through the required safety lecture.

The lab session was short, it being the first week of classes. One hour later Jackie and Alex were walking together towards Alex's next class. He tried explaining how he had felt after hearing her dad give him no hope in finding his birth parents, but it all seemed to come out wrong. He apologized over and over until finally, Jackie told him to shut up.

"I'm your friend. Whether my father can help you or not, tell me! Let me be there to help you! Good God, Alex," Jackie punched his shoulder, catching Alex off guard.

"I know," Alex mumbled.

"Promise me you aren't going to act like this again, like a spoiled little kid who doesn't get his way and goes to hide in the corner and pout," Jackie stared at him.

"I promise," Alex mumbled.

"Good," Jackie nodded. "Now we can start to figure out how we can solve this 'who's the mommy and daddy' mystery ourselves."

Alex raised his eyebrows and Jackie grinned.

"Let me do some, well, reconnaissance I guess you could say, this weekend. I'll talk to you Monday before class. Get there early!"


	6. Dance to the Music

It was nearly midnight on Saturday night when Jerry burst into the dorm room and shook Alex awake.

"Dude, you gotta split. I have a chick outside man," Jerry grabbed Alex's jeans and t-shirt from the floor and threw them at him.

"What?" Alex sat up, eyes slowly adjusting to the low light as he watched Jerry pick up his shoes and throw them on the bed.

"Dude! Come on! I got a girl in the hall! Just get dressed and give me a few hours," Jerry pleaded in a hushed tone.

"You're kidding, right?" Alex questioned through a clenched jaw.

"I'm not kidding, can you please get out for just a few hours?" The look on Jerry's face was serious.

Cursing under his breath, Alex pulled on his clothes and grabbing his keys and wallet. He stumbled out into the hall where a tall, thin blonde wearing nearly nothing stood holding a bottle of Jack Daniels. She eyed him with disdain, flipping her hair. Just as quickly, her scowl transformed to a grin as Jerry reached into the hall and pulled her into the room. As Alex slumped down the hall, he heard the girl giggling as his door shut.

* * *

 

Alex had no idea what he was supposed to do at midnight on Saturday night. His anger with Jerry grew; he had no other friends in the dorms and the people that were still awake weren't the ones he'd want to hang out with anyway. He wasn't about to call Jackie at midnight on a Saturday; she would be sleeping anyway.

Alex decided to head towards the wide, green lawn near the Library. As he exited the dorm, he kicked a loose stone as hard as he could, imagining it was Jerry's face. As he strolled, paying no real attention to anything, Alex could feel his anger growing at his suddenly inconsiderate roommate. He suddenly wished he hadn't been so quick to do as Jerry said.

"Idiot," Alex mumbled under his breath, goosebumps rising quickly on his bare arms.

The night was cool, but not cold. Fall was nearing just the same, and Alex wished for a sweatshirt or a jacket. Walking quickly to avoid the chill, he headed away from the brightly lit residence halls, toward the darker, shadow-laden parts of campus. The night was eerily quiet, even though the campus was surrounded on all sides by pretty busy streets. It seemed the whole city was sleeping except for Alex.

Arms crossed in front, Alex was halfway across the lawn when a voice came out of nowhere, causing him to call out in surprise.

"What are you doing alone out here in the middle of the night?"

"Oh, shit!" Alex said quietly as he looked around, eyes finally falling on the shadowed figure of Serenity.

She was standing next to her tripod; the same big, boxy camera she'd had the first time they'd met, rested on top. There was a blanket stretched out on the grass, along with some other camera equipment.

"You scared the crap out of me!" Alex nervously laughed as he walked the short distance between them. "And I could ask you the same question."

"Isn't it obvious?" Serenity indicated towards her setup.

"Yeah," Alex responded slowly, "but what are you taking pictures of in the dark?"

"There's supposed to be a meteor shower tonight, in about an hour. I don't know if I'll be able to see it this deep in the city, but I wanted to try. I thought it was too soon to test Isabel and Jesse by borrowing their car without permission; you know, so I could get out of the city."

"Good plan," Alex laughed and nodded. They stared at each other for a few moments in silence.

"Want to join me?" Serenity finally asked and Alex felt his stomach tighten.

"Sure," he replied, trying desperately to sound nonchalant.

"Where were you going?" Serenity asked after they'd settled on the blanket, the lawn an endless shadow before them, turning to a black mass of shadows down the gentle slope where the pond and grove of trees were.

"Just walking," Alex answered casually, as if he normally took midnight strolls on a Saturday night. In truth he was embarrassed about Jerry kicking him out so he could use the room for his sexual exploits, and it wasn't something he wanted to talk to a girl about, especially  _this_  girl.

"Oh," Serenity nodded as if she knew what he'd meant. "Roommate kicked you out for a bit?"

Laughing apologetically, Alex just nodded.

"Fun times," she smiled and Alex suddenly felt like he wanted to throw up.

The duo sat in silence for a long time. It was neither uncomfortable nor forced. It felt completely natural. Alex's nerves began to calm as he began to appreciate and enjoy the company and the night.

"How are you liking Boston?" Serenity broke the silence finally.

"It's okay. I mainly just wanted to get far away from home, and there's a strong Biology program here, so it worked out. But it's cool. Very different then Montana," Alex replied.

"Yeah, I can imagine. I've never been west of Pennsylvania myself. But I want to travel west because there are some fantastic artists that have come from that part of the country. And as clichéd as it might sound, my favorite photographer is Ansel Adams. I want so badly to travel to the places he's photographed and see what catches my own eye. But the padres won't let me."

"The padres?"

"My parents," Serenity pulled at the grass on the edge of the blanket. "it's just another reason I can't wait until I'm 18; then I can travel wherever the hell I want."

"Oh, right," Alex chuckled. "Jackie said you were an artist. Is photography your favorite medium?"

"I'm impressed you know that term," Serenity patted Alex on the arm, and Alex felt his skin tingle and warm to her touch.

"My mom used to take me to the Art museum in Bozeman," Alex offered, silently wishing she'd lay her hands on his arm again.

"Nice. And yes, photography is my first love. Then oils. Then watercolors."

"I'd love to see some of your stuff sometime," Alex said, watching her out of the corner of his eye. He thought he saw her blush and smile, but he couldn't be sure.

"Next time you come over to the house, I'll show you my portfolio. Hopefully, some of these shots tonight will turn out."

Serenity stood suddenly and moved as if to make adjustments to the camera and tripod setup, checking the camera settings and peeking through the viewfinder. Apparently happy with the arrangement, she reached into her pocket and pulled out her cell phone.

The blue glow from the cell phone LCD screen gave her green eyes a nearly wild look, and Alex felt his attraction to her intensify.

"Ten more minutes," she said, sitting back down next to Alex, a bit closer then before, Alex noted, certain it wasn't his imagination.

Another few minutes passed in silence. Alex could hear the distant sound of an ambulance, and closer to them the crickets in the grass were chirping solemnly.

"I like you, Alex," Serenity blurted suddenly and Alex, surprised and caught off guard, wasn't immediately sure how to respond.

"Thanks," he finally settled on. "I like you too, despite first impressions."

Serenity gave a little laugh and Alex smiled into the night. He felt good. He felt happy. He'd forgotten about his personal issues. He didn't want the night to end.

"I'm not good with strangers," she finally said.

"That's okay," Alex replied, staring up into the night sky. His heart was racing in his chest. He wanted nothing more then to reach out and wrap his arms around her; to kiss her. He tried to control his breathing, fearful she could hear his heart pounding.

"I want to ask you something," Serenity said. Alex felt her warmth radiating as she leaned a bit closer towards him.

"Okay," he said softly, eyes glued to the night sky.

"How do you feel about Jackie?"

It wasn't the question he'd expected. Alex was surprised, and so it took him a moment to gather his thoughts.

"Well we're friends. When I first met her, I though I might be attracted to her, but that quickly faded. She's like a female version of me, I guess. So yeah, we're friends, I mean, we're just friends is really all," Alex shrugged, hoping he hadn't protested too much.

"I can see that," Serenity whispered, her head now so close to Alex's that he could feel the her breath tickle his cheek, and he could smell a hint of spearmint. He wasn't sure what she meant, but at that moment, he didn't care.

He had been staring straight ahead, up into the dark sky afraid to look anywhere else. As his heart felt like it would burst from his chest, Alex felt Serenity's hand on his cheek; he let her turn his head to her; and he found himself staring straight into her bright green eyes. Without taking any time to think about the decision, Alex reached out and pulled her to him.

His mouth found hers and they kissed, gentle at first, but quickly it became more passionate and his arms pulled her tightly to him. Serenity reacted immediately. Her hands cupped his face then moved as she ran her fingers through his hair, massaging the back of his neck gently.

Though neither realized it, the meteor shower began a few minutes later and was brilliant in the night sky above Boston.

* * *

 

Alex and Serenity fell asleep on the lawn, waking in the early dawn, as the morning dew collected and chilled their bodies. Stretching, Alex helped Serenity pack up her equipment and then walked her to the bus stop. They said their goodbyes and Serenity promised to try and call before the weekend was over if she wasn't in too much trouble for being out all night.

Alex headed back to his dorm, replaying the events of the night over and over. He would never have guessed that Jerry kicking him out would have resulted in meeting Serenity like he did, and then spending a wonderful night in her arms.

Alex didn't even mind that the blond girl was still in their dorm room, passed out in Jerry's bed. He simply crawled into his own extra-long twin bed, and spent the rest of the morning dreaming of green, grassy lawns, full lips, and soft, passionate kisses.

* * *

 

Jerry apologized profusely all day Sunday, until Alex was so sick of his groveling that he told Jerry if he ordered them a pizza and paid, all would be forgiven. In part, Jerry's hounding was helpful in keeping Alex's mind off Serenity and the phone call he was waiting for; but still he found himself afraid the leave the dorm for fear he'd miss it.

When ten o'clock neared and still she hadn't called, Alex began to second guess Serenity's feelings. The night before she had seemed to be interested, and in a way, she had instigated the make-out session on the dark lawn. Alex, with little dating experience and no real skill in reading the female psyche, went to bed miserable and embarrassed and praying that Serenity and Jackie weren't laughing at him and his naïveté.

* * *

 

Jackie was waiting for him early Monday morning, brightly grinning. Alex had nearly forgotten that they were going to meet early, but luckily he woke before his alarm had sounded. While he was showering, trying to shake off the disturbing dream he'd had involving shadowed figures chasing him and Serenity through a dense forest, flashlight beams dancing around them and barking dogs sounding in all directions, he remembered that Jackie wanted to talk before class.

"Hey," Jackie greeted him, tugging on his arm as she led him into the empty lecture hall.

"Have a good weekend?" she smiled, and Alex's stomach lurched as he tried to read her face. He couldn't tell if Serenity had confided in her or not.

"It was okay," he finally replied.

"Nice," Jackie said, either ignoring or oblivious to his overly casual tone. Alex felt better that Serenity hadn't bragged about the night on the lawn.

"So I snuck into my dad's office last night after my parent's went to bed. I wanted to see if there was more information in your file then my dad told you. But I didn't have much luck. All I found was the adoption case number and the name of the agency in Denver that contacted your parent's when you were…," Jackie trailed off.

"Given away," Alex spat, suddenly feeling bitter and resentful and tired. "You can say it. When they contacted my parents because I had been away, because I wasn't wanted."

Alex sighed, wishing at that moment that he'd never figured out that he'd been adopted.  _Ignorance was bliss_ , he thought sadly.

Jackie offered an apologetic smile.

"Well, I copied their number and thought I'd try to call them today and see if I could somehow talk a little more information out of someone."

Alex stared at the desk. Decades and generations of students had carved various things into the desktop. Alex couldn't even make out any of the sayings. He traced his finger along a long, thin line.

"I thought you'd be more excited," Jackie said, sounding a little hurt.

"I just wonder if I should keep this up. It's obvious that whoever my parents were, they never had interest in reconnecting with me. Is it really fair for me to just show up one day and say, 'hey, remember me? The kid you didn't want?'"

Alex looked over at Jackie. Her expression revealing heartbreak, her eyes looked like they were ready to shed tears.

"I want to help you," she said. "I feel like I need to help you! I don't know why. It's like I'm responsible, or something. It's kind of scary because I count on you more then I have anyone else in my life; except Serenity," Alex felt his face flash hot at the mention of her name.

"Let's just see where this path leads us," Jackie continued, her voice taking on a pleading tone. Their classmates were starting to arrive. Alex watched the other students as they laughed and talked about their weekends. He was jealous of their freedom and light-hearted nature of their lives.

"I promise," Jackie reached out and grabbed Alex's hand, "if this doesn't lead anywhere I'll drop it. I won't push any more. But let's just see what happens?"

"Fine, we can see where this leads," Alex conceded. He was convinced it would lead nowhere anyway, so why worry. Alex had given up all hope of ever discovering anything about his birth.

Jackie smiled and Alex worried that they were making a mistake.


	7. I'm Looking Through You

"Jackie?"

"Hmmm?"

"I've been wondering why you've never mentioned your aunt and uncle?"

It was late Monday afternoon and they were in Alex's dorm room, each of them writing up an introduction to use when they called the agency in Denver. Jackie was lying on Alex's bed, and Alex was sitting at his desk. He couldn't stop thinking about what Serenity had said the week before, about Max and Liz and their importance in Jackie's life.

"Ah; well I've been wondering why you haven't mentioned your make-out session with my best friend."

Alex turned to Jackie, his mouth slack with surprise. She laughed.

"It's not a big deal. I haven't mentioned my aunt and uncle because they've been traveling Europe and I haven't seen them for the last three months. My aunt Liz is a geneticist and my uncle Max is an oncologist. Together they make so much money it's ridiculous, and every year they take these hugely elaborate trips with their daughters, who they also home school with private tutors. Out of sight, out of mind I guess," Jackie said.

"No need to answer my question," she added; a large, Cheshire-cat grin on her face.

"But-," Alex didn't know what to say. He suddenly didn't care a bit about Jackie's relatives; he was slightly freaked out that Serenity had shared what had happened between them.

"That is…I mean; I didn't think…"

"She's my best friend, of course she told me. And don't worry. She's going to call you tonight," Jackie laughed. "She kind of got into a little bit of trouble with my parents because she was gone all night. We both thought it best that she not spend all weekend on the phone with you or else her parent's might come and take her back to New York. They wouldn't be happy with a repeat-," Jackie cut herself off, her teasing expression wavering slightly.

"What?" Alex asked, concerned.

Shaking her head and clearing her face, Jackie grinned.

"It's nothing. Just be here to answer the phone tonight around 8 or so. She's going to call."

"Right," Alex smiled his face hot with embarrassment. "Is it okay? I mean, is it weird?"

"Weird? Yes. Okay? I think so. Just don't hurt each other or stop being friends because it would suck to have two best friends who couldn't be in the same room together."

"Did you tell her about me, about being adopted I mean?" Alex asked, suddenly frantic. It was something he needed to tell her himself.

"No! I would never share that with anyone. It's your business."

Alex breathed a deep sigh of relief.

"Okay, how does this sound," Jackie swung her legs around so she was sitting up on the bed, and she read the short intro she'd written.

Alex shook his head as he tossed his pathetic attempt aside. He wondered why he even bothered. With a lawyer for a father, Jackie could throw around legal terms like she knew what she was talking about.

Not that it helped.

Despite her best efforts, Jackie was unable to get much information from the office. The woman she talked too was not only rude, but seemed to have the privacy act and attorney-client privilege laws memorized verbatim. She did tell Jackie that if she wanted to discuss the matter further she could contact John Rather, the lead attorney on the case. As soon as the phone call ended, Alex fired up his laptop and they Googled the name; there was no shortage of biographies written about the man who seemed to have his legal foot in every pot there was.

Alex read some of the random facts off the internet, while Jackie sat with her brow furrowed as if deep in thought.

"He was born in Sacramento, California…only child of a war hero…father killed in World War II…college at Stanford…law school at Yale…passed the bar exam on his first attempt. His first job was as District Attorney in Arizona. After that he spent some time in New Mexico and Utah doing water law…moved to Denver and starting taking on child right's cases, 'defending those who weren't able to defend themselves', he was quoted as saying," Alex glanced up at Jackie. She had her hands folded neatly under her chin.

"Well doesn't he sound like a stand-up guy," Alex said sarcastically. He found it amusing that Mr. Rather fought for children's rights, yet aided in an adoption that clearly cut the child off from any closure or answers to do with the adoption. He immediately didn't like John Rather.

"We can try calling tomorrow?" Jackie finally said, her voice steady, but her expression still concerned, as if she were trying to solve a complicated mathematical problem in her head.

Alex closed his laptop and thought about what they were doing. But as much as he wanted to figure it all out, his life had somehow moved on, and he no longer felt consumed by the lie he'd been so betrayed by. The adoption was no longer his main focus. He had Serenity; and a friend in Jackie. He had school, and he was starting to form a real relationship with his parents.

"No," Alex sighed. "I'm tired of this. I'm at the point where I just want to forget all about it. Every time I get my hopes up, something else happens and I find myself feeling unwanted and abandoned all over again. I'm ready to move on with my life."

Jackie nodded, slowly standing.

"I can respect that. I still really wish we had been able to find something else out. It's very frustrating. But I promise I won't push you anymore about this. Tomorrow is the beginning of the rest of your life." Jackie smiled.

"I appreciate you wanting to help," Alex said, standing and walking with Jackie to the door. His mind was already distracted by the knowledge that Serenity would be calling him soon.

"Yeah, yeah," Jackie winked and started down the hall towards the stairwell.

"Enjoy your phone call," she called over her shoulder.

"I will," Alex smiled as he closed the door.

* * *

Jerry was out for the night, gone to dinner and a movie with the blond girl he'd entertained that prior weekend, so when Serenity finally did call Alex was free to talk without his nosy roommate listening to his half of the conversation. Not that he would have learned much.

It was a slightly awkward conversation, and Alex didn't know if they were both just too nervous to make any sense, or if they had run out of things to talk about. In any case, they didn't last more than ten minutes on the phone, and instead planned to meet for lunch the next day, same table as the first time they'd met.

Alex, who in addition to being nervous about seeing Serenity again, was also beginning to feel some closure regarding his adoption. He started working on his homework so he'd have the next afternoon free to be with Serenity. He was still working when Jerry got back to the dorm room at midnight gushing about his own new girlfriend.

* * *

Microbiology dragged on. Alex fought heavy eyes and strained his neck trying to keep his head up. It took him seconds to escape the classroom once the professor dismissed them. Alex headed straight for the food court and purchased the largest coffee he could find. He still had a few hours before he was to meet Serenity, so he headed to the library intending to check his email and do some online shopping. His mom and his sister had birthday's coming up and Alex didn't want to forget again, like he had the last two years.

Settling at one of the computers, Alex opened his email and skimmed the messages quickly. He had nearly 50 new messages but all but ten of them were junk mail. Deleting the junk, Alex began to read through the remaining messages. Most of them were forwards from Jerry, but there was one from Jackie that caught his eye.

He and Jackie had never corresponded by email. Clicking on the message, Alex stared with increasing confusion as he read her cryptic message.

_Alex-_

_Yesterday when we were in your room talking about Mr. Rather I didn't say anything, because I wanted to be sure. Well now I am sure. Rather was such a familiar name to me-and you read that he'd worked in New Mexico. Well it turns out that Mr. Rather and my grandpa are real close friends. They were in the same class at Yale, and they worked together while Rather was in NM. In fact it was Mr. Rather who arranged the adoption of my mom and uncle for my grandparents. I don't think I ever told you that my mom and her brother were also adopted. Anyway, I casually asked my mom about him last night, and she confirmed all this. Rather is also Godfather to my mom._

_Small world, hunh?_

_Anyway, I figure when my grandparents come to visit for Thanksgiving and my birthday, we can talk to my Gramps._ _If you want to. Just think about it. You don't need to give me an answer right away. We have a few weeks._ _Please just think about it. It's the perfect opportunity to get some answers._

_later_

_Jackie_

Alex forgot about shopping for Crystal or his mom. He read Jackie's email again and again…

* * *

Serenity was waiting when Alex jogged into the food court at the Student Union. He was nearly ten minutes late and panicked that she'd have left already.

When he saw her sitting alone at the table, he breathed a sigh of relief, but that relief was short lived as the expression on her face was neither welcoming nor forgiving.

"I'm so sorry," Alex breathed, sitting down opposite Serenity. His t-shirt stuck to his sweaty back as he dropped his backpack and jacket on the chair next to him.

"I'd almost given up hope," Serenity replied with a hint of sarcasm.

Alex inwardly groaned. She wasn't just annoyed, she was mad.

"I'm sorry," Alex repeated, knowing he sounded lame.

Serenity nodded.

"I'm going to get some food," she stood quickly and strode purposefully to the salad bar. Alex turned in his chair and watched her long legs carry her across the room.

She wasn't long gone.

"Aren't you getting anything?" she asked after she'd sat down.

Alex shook his head as he watched her pour a small amount of vinaigrette dressing on her salad.

"I'm not too hungry," Alex added.

Serenity shrugged and stabbed at her small salad. Alex watched her closely. Her reaction made no sense. Yes he'd been late, but it's not like he hadn't showed up at all.

"Are you mad at me for being late?" he finally asked after several minutes of no conversation.

"No," Serenity sighed, "and yes."

"I can explain," Alex replied, suddenly fearful this would be the last time he'd ever see her.

"I have trust issues," Serenity said as she pierced a crouton, breaking it in two pieces and ignoring Alex's previous statement.

"I really am sorry," Alex repeated again.

"And I'm sorry, I shouldn't be so bitchy," Serenity smiled, and this time there was sincerity in it.

"I do want to talk to you about something, but not here," Alex looked around the crowded food court where groups of students were busily eating, studying, and laughing. Not a care in the world. Alex was suddenly jealous of them all.

Serenity quickly finished her salad, and Alex threw her trash away as they walked together out of the food court and out into the outdoor courtyard. The leaves had started changing color and the two found shelter under a large Maple with a few red leaves dotting the still predominantly green foliage.

"What's up?" Serenity questioned as she reclined against the large trunk of the tree.

"You didn't get into too much trouble Saturday night, or Sunday morning I should say, did you?" Alex asked.

"Nah," Serenity pulled her sunglasses out of her bag and placed them on her face. "Isabel and Jesse aren't too big on discipline. As long as I keep my nose clean for awhile, they'll forget about it. And as long as they don't call my parents it's all good."

"Oh," Alex felt relieved.

"Just how strict are your parents?" Alex asked.

"Did you want to tell me something or interrogate me about my parents?" Serenity said, a slight edge to her tone.

"Sorry," she added quickly. "I just haven't been getting along with my dad much in the last year, so I'd rather not spend time talking about them if I don't have to."

"Sure," Alex said, his own nerves amped up as he wondered what Serenity's reaction would be to his adoption.

"So, there was one thing I wanted to tell you," Alex took a deep breath, "I found out a few years ago that I was adopted."

He stopped and watched Serenity for a reaction.

"No shit," she said, straightening up a little and pushing her sunglasses up into her hair. Alex felt a moment's relief that the revelation meant as much to her as he'd hoped.

During the next hour Alex told Serenity everything that had happened in the last six months, since he'd arrived in Boston. When he told her about John Rather, she nodded.

"I remember him. When my mom went back to Roswell for my grandmother's funeral a few years ago, John Rather was there. I remember hearing my parents arguing about him. I'm not sure what it was about exactly, but my dad doesn't like or trust him."

Alex pondered this new information, and the more he thought, the more he decided he needed to know who this John Rather was, and just how he'd played a part in Alex's adoption.


	8. He's a Rebel

The next few weeks went by quickly. Homework and Lab write-ups were accumulating faster than Alex could finish, and quickly classes overtook his life. The first round of midterm exams was also upon the entire campus. Alex found he had little free time, so he tried to spend what time he did have with Serenity. They didn't talk much if at all about Alex's adoption; instead they spent their time talking about other things, getting to know each other. Alex felt himself falling hard for her, and he only hoped she felt the same.

As the falling leaves and the first snow of the season ushered in November, Alex was reminded of Jackie and Serenity's birthdays later in the month. He took every opportunity to fish for clues from both about gifts. Alex quickly deduced that it was much harder to shop for a girlfriend, and a friend who was a girl, then a mother and sister.

Alex also responded to Jackie's email, telling her that yes, he was interested in speaking with her grandfather over Thanksgiving. After that, nothing more was said as they were both so busy with school. He also didn't know what to say. Until Thanksgiving, when he met Jackie's grandfather, there was little they could do or talk about. So Alex stopped worrying about it and simply enjoyed his life in Boston. He quickly realized how much his obsession over his roots had taken over his life once he stopped worrying about it.

Alex also had to call his parents and let them know he wouldn't be home for Thanksgiving. He could tell his mother was hurt and upset, but he tried to cheer her up by reminding her that he'd be home for nearly a month over the winter break. In reality, Alex dreaded spending an entire month away from Boston, and away from Serenity. The one consolation was that she'd be going back to New York during that time; but it was a small consolation-if Alex were in Boston he could still visit her. Not really feasible from Montana.

The last weekend before Thanksgiving saw Boston receive one of the largest snowfalls in its history. Nearly three feet of snow fell overnight Sunday to Monday and when Alex woke he was greeted with news that classes were canceled for the next two days. Break had started early, and the students suddenly found themselves with a full week off, instead of the usual three-days.

Jerry wanted to celebrate with a snowball fight. Being from Florida, he intended to make good use of his extra days off before he flew home. One of his teammates lived on the floor below and they decided to battle it out; floor versus floor. Alex, not usually one for that type of activity, was so excited about the canceled classes that he immediately agreed. Twenty minutes later they were downstairs in the courtyard of the dorm; twenty students from Alex and Jerry's floor, and twenty-three students from the floor below theirs.

Ground rules were established (no face hits, minimum distance of five feet, no rocks, don't compact the snowballs too much and so on) and the fight was soon underway. Things were going well, Alex had only been hit by one snowball and their "team" had quickly built a small fortification wall to hide behind. He was having fun.

Just as quickly the game got out of hand as other students from the dorm came outside to participate-likely responding to their shrieks of laughter. Soon it was a free-for-all. Snowballs flying everywhere, the rules that had been set at the beginning were completely ignored.

The snowball fight came to an abrupt end when a large guy, probably on the football team Alex had thought afterwards, threw a large, highly compact snowball at Alex from only a few feet away and hit him squarely on the bridge of his nose. His face, numb from the cold, only felt a brief flash of pain, but the damage was apparently more than the pain indicated as Alex's nose burst forth a gush of blood and stained the snow a bright red. Alex, his face numb from the cold, didn't even know he was bleeding until a girl standing near him looked at him wide-eyed, gave a strangled yelp and fainted into the snow. Immediately Alex was surrounded by people, all yelling different instructions and advice on how to stop the bleeding.

Jerry was the one who led Alex back to the dorm, where they found the RA. Once back inside the warmth of the residence hall, Alex began to feel the throbbing pain in his face. His eyes watered as Alex seemed to feel his nose growing in size, and his head started to ache with a dull pounding that didn't diminish until late that night.

Looking into the mirror later that afternoon, Alex sighed. His nose and eyes were swollen and disfigured and he hardly recognized himself. He was also sporting two partial black eyes, the bruising fading away toward the edges of his face. The bridge of his nose also showed a few small red cuts from the hard ice in the snowball.

"Great," Alex mumbled as he pressed gently the area under his eyes. A sharp pain seared through his head in response to the pressure.

"This will make a great first impression," he added as he moved towards the phone, dialing the Ramirez house and filling in Serenity on what had happened.

* * *

Thanksgiving morning Alex rose early. There was still nearly a foot of snow outside, and the roads were a mess. Luckily, there was limited bus service even on the Holiday, so he could still get to Jackie's house for dinner without asking someone to risk their life to come get him.

Alex's face looked a bit better. His nose was still swollen, though it was starting to reduce to its more normal size. His eyes, instead of the dark black and blue of the last two days were now a lighter blue, blending into a greenish/yellow near the outer edges of his eyes. The cuts were fading too, but still evident of you looked closely. Alex hoped Serenity's parents didn't think he had been in a fight or something-he really wanted to make a good impression. Serenity had already told him that it was unlikely her dad would be friendly or talk much, and she told Alex not to take it personally. Alex wasn't sure what to make of her warning.

Leaving the dorm, Alex groaned as new snow started to fall from the grey sky. He hoped it didn't accumulate too much through the day that the bus system shut down.

Twenty minutes later, Alex was standing at Jackie's front door. He rang the bell, waiting nervously, his breath clouding the air in front of him as he tried to breathe deep and calm his anxiety. Jesse was the one to answer, and by the look on his face, Alex knew his snowball-battle scars did not look as healed as he'd hoped.

"Alex, come in," Jesse ushered Alex in after his initial shock, taking his coat and hanging it by the door. "Jackie told us what happened. Who knew snowball fights could be so dangerous."

"Yeah."

Alex answered nervously. He hadn't seen or spoken to Jackie's father since that day in the coffee shop when he'd told Alex that he wasn't able to help him find his birth parents. Seeing him again, Alex found it hard not to be resentful, even though he felt Jesse had done all he legally could.

"Well come on in. Jackie has been anxious for you to meet everyone," Jesse smiled. Alex couldn't help but notice he looked a little uncomfortable. His eyes remained untouched by his smile, and they were far too serious. Alex felt his stomach churn with a new surge of nerves.

"Alex!" Jasmine screamed, running and throwing her arms around Alex's waist as Jesse led him into the formal living room. The room, which had been buzzing with steady conversation, quieted and all faces turned to greet him.

Alex had never in his life felt more uncomfortable or judged. He searched the room for Jackie or Serenity, his eyes passing quickly over the faces of an elderly couple (must be Jackie's grandparents, he thought) and another couple in their mid-40's who were standing with Isabel talking. As his gaze searched the room he couldn't help but notice Isabel and the other woman exchange a knowing look. Alex immediately wished he was anywhere else but there. The other kids were sitting on the floor playing with a young toddler who had a shock of dark black hair that stood straight up; blissfully unaware, they had glanced once at Alex then turning their attention back to the baby. Alex almost smiled as he wished the adults would take the same cue. Jasmine was still holding on to Alex.

"Hi," Alex finally blurted, what felt like minutes later but was actually only a few seconds, all the while trying to smile normally but feeling like he was grinning in sheer terror.

"Alex!"

Turning, Alex breathed with relief as he saw Serenity and Jackie coming from the kitchen carrying trays of steaming mugs. They were both smiling. Nerves easing, Alex relaxed a bit.

Setting down her tray, Serenity rushed forward and pulled Alex from Jasmine's grip. He nearly laughed at the nasty look Jasmine threw her way as she grumpily sat back on the floor with the other kids.

"These are my parents," Serenity smiled as she approached the couple Isabel was standing with. Alex could immediately see where Serenity got her long legs and full lips.

"Maria Guerin," her mother held out her hand and smiled warmly. Alex smiled in return, shaking the outstretched hand.

"This is Serenity's father Michael," Maria turned to the tall, narrow-eyed man standing next to her.

Alex turned his head towards Serenity's dad and immediately felt the waves of dislike and distrust emanating off him. Holding out his hand, Alex waited what felt like an eternity before Maria jabbed Michael in the side, and he grudgingly shook Alex's waiting hand.

"It's nice to meet you," Alex said, trying to sound unintimidated. He wasn't sure he was successful as Michael simply grunted in reply; his eyes narrowed on Alex's face, staring hard as if he were trying to read his mind.

"Alex," Jackie called. Alex turned, relieved to look away from the harsh, judging face of Michael Guerin.

"These are my grandparents," Jackie grinned proudly as Alex crossed the room to where the older couple was seated on the sofa. They each held a steaming mug and were smiling warmly.

"Phillip and Diane Evans," Jackie grinned even wider, and Alex felt another wave of nerves come over him.

"Pleasure to meet you, Alex," Phillip Evans said as he stiffly rose from the sofa, reaching out for Alex's hand.

"And you, sir," Alex replied, his face suddenly feeling very hot.

Diane Evans remained seated, and as Alex reached down to shake her hand, he thought he saw something cross her face; a confused, troubled look. But almost as soon as he recognized it, it was gone, and they were shaking hands, Diane warmly welcoming Alex to their family Thanksgiving.

Introductions complete, Alex stood awkwardly in the center of the room. He could hear Isabel and Maria talking quietly behind him, their voices just low enough that he couldn't make out the words. Paranoia swept him and he almost bolted for the door, sure they were talking about him. Jesse was sitting next to Philip and they were engrossed in conversation about the new governor of New Mexico and some trouble he'd gotten into with the law. Serenity had disappeared, and Jackie was momentarily distracted by the kids on the floor. She was helping them set up a board game, and trying to keep the baby from eating the game pieces.

"Alex?"

Moving his eyes from the kids on floor, Alex saw Jesse, Philip and Diane staring at him expectantly.

"What?" he asked, eyes widening involuntarily.

"I was asking about your family, where are you from again?" Philip Evans said, his gentle face having a calming effect on Alex's refreshed nerves.

"Oh. Uh, I'm from Montana," Alex nodded, shifting his weight uncomfortably.

"Alex, please sit down, you're making me nervous," Diane Evans laughed lightly as she reached out and patted the cushion of the armchair that sat perpendicular to the sofa.

Alex moved wordlessly and sat, feeling the three of them staring. He could still hear the hushed tones of Isabel and Maria. Alex hazarded a glance in their direction and noticed Michael staring at him strangely. His eyes were no longer narrowed in distrust and anger, but in concentration. Alex looked away.

"That's pretty far. How did you decide to come to Boston for school?" Philip asked, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees.

"I'm studying Biology. And I wanted to get out of Montana. Northeastern had the best program of the schools that offered me scholarships, so I came here," Alex abbreviated his journey.

"Did you not like living in Montana?" Diane Evans asked her tone sincerely curious.

"Oh, no! I love Montana, it's beautiful and I'll likely end up back there after school. I just needed a change," Alex prayed she would stop questioning him about leaving Montana. He didn't want to air his whole family drama in front of everyone.

"Sometimes we just need a break, right Alex?" Jesse spoke up.

Alex smiled and nodded, thankful for Jesse's intervention.

"Are you interested in becoming a doctor?" Philip asked.

"I don't think so. I'm more interested in the research aspect of Biology, but of course I haven't determined anything just yet," Alex answered vaguely.

"Our son is a doctor, a very talented one," Diane smiled as her eyes searched Alex's face.

"I've heard," Alex nodded, happening to notice Jesse's eyes widen momentarily.

"Enough with all the questions," Jackie laughed as she joined them perching on the arm of the chair Alex was in. She was holding the baby that had been on the floor.

"Who's this?" Alex asked, reaching out and shaking the tiny hand of the little boy.

"This is Simon," Jackie smiled, "he's Serenity's little brother."

"I think I'll take him upstairs and lay him down, it's nearly time for his morning nap," Suddenly Maria was there, taking Simon from Jackie's arms and disappearing from the room.

"Where's Serenity?" Alex asked quietly, as Diane, Philip and Jesse started talking about something else.

"I'm not sure," Jackie said, "maybe in the kitchen? Don't worry. She won't leave you out here for long. Not with her dad. She wouldn't do that to you."

Alex glanced again at Michael. He had moved to the opposite armchair, but he was still watching Alex.

Isabel announced a few minutes later that dinner was ready, so the group slowly made their way into the large formal dining room. Maria had reappeared without Simon, and moments later Serenity came back into the room. Alex hung back, waiting to be told where he should sit. After much shuffling and moving around, he ended up between Serenity and Jackie and across from Michael and Maria. Not the ideal seating arrangement.

Alex, used to small Thanksgiving dinners at home with his parents and sister, was completely unprepared for the massive scale of the current Thanksgiving dinner. The serving dishes were heaped high with steaming piles of food, and Alex had to wonder how it all got done.

Diane Evans said a short prayer, and the food began to move around the table. Alex took a little of everything, not wanting to be rude. His plate was soon overflowing and he was afraid he wouldn't be able to finish it all. The adults started talking about politics, and Alex blocked them out, focusing on his food. Shortly into the dinner, Alex felt Serenity's hand on his leg, and dropping one of his own hands he smiled at her. They held hands under the table the entire meal, and Alex felt a slight rush because of it.

"So, what's the real reason you didn't want to go home for Thanksgiving, Alex?"

Alex met the hard stare of Michael Guerin and was momentarily at a loss for words. It was the first time he'd spoken since Alex had arrived and the edgy tone of his words was hard to misinterpret. Michael was harboring some strong anger, almost hatred for Alex. Dinner over, the table which had moments before been buzzing with talk was now silent.

Instinctively, Alex released Serenity's hand.

"I'm not sure what you mean?" Alex finally said, genuinely confused by the question.

"I mean, surely your family could afford to bring you home for such an important holiday," Michael seemed to spit the words at Alex.

"Dad," Serenity warned in a low voice. Michael didn't even look at her, his hard stare remained on Alex.

"Maybe it's time for dessert?" Isabel stood, gathering the dinner plates of those around her.

"Well?" Michael questioned, ignoring Serenity and Isabel.

"I didn't want to go home," Alex answered, resisting the urge to look at Serenity. He could see out of the corner of his eye that she was appalled. She stared at her father, her jaw slightly slack with surprise.

"I agree with Isabel, it's time for dessert," Maria made a move to stand, but Michael, not wavering from his hard stare at Alex, slammed his fist down on the table causing the whole thing to shake.

"Why didn't you want to go home?" Michael's voice was quiet, but laced with a fury that Alex didn't understand.

"Dad stop it! Your being a total jerk!" Serenity was on her feet, leaning over the table, her chest heaving from her outburst.

Michael didn't even flinch, he simply moved his stare from Alex to Serenity, and back to Alex. The rest of the table was silent. No one moved, no one spoke. Alex could hear the other kids in the kitchen talking. The clock in the entryway chimed.

"Let's go, Alex," Serenity finally said, her jaw set. She reached out and pulled Alex by the arm towards the entry.

"We're going for a walk. When I get back, I expect you to stop acting like this," Serenity yelled.

Alex let himself be pulled into the entry where Serenity threw him his coat and started pulling on her boots.

"What are we doing?" Alex finally asked. He was slightly shocked by the sudden turn of events, and couldn't figure out what was going on between Serenity and Michael.

"Walking, I need to cool off."

"But, it's snowing out," Alex said incredulously.

"So?"

Alex shrugged and pulled on his own boots. They were still dripping melted snow he'd tracked in not an hour earlier.

"Wait," Jackie came striding into the entry, pulling her own winter coat on. "I'm coming with."

Once outside no one spoke for a few blocks. The snow was still falling gently, and had accumulated almost half an inch since Alex's arrival. The threesome walked the silent streets, each alone with their own thoughts. Finally, Alex couldn't take the silence any longer.

"Will you please tell me what the hell that was all about?" He stopped walking, waiting for an answer.

"My dad and I don't get along," Serenity replied wryly.

"No kidding," Alex replied with heavy sarcasm. "Why? What happened?"

Jackie and Serenity exchanged a look, and Jackie offered a gentle smile, nodding. Alex was silently thankful for Jackie's support.

"I had some trouble with a guy last year. My dad thinks, because of that situation, that I can't make the right choices and that I'll make the same mistake again. He hasn't forgiven me for what happened. So naturally he thinks you're like that other guy. But you're not. He just doesn't trust me anymore," Serenity said, her tone indicating she wasn't ready to explain what she'd done. Her face betrayed her sadness.

Alex wanted to know more, to know what it was she'd done. Instead of pushing her to explain, he simply took her in his arms and held her in the falling snow; he tried to let her know he was there, and he would be there as long as she needed. Jackie watched them with a sad smile. After awhile Serenity pulled away and they walked for a bit longer, until they were all so cold they couldn't stand it and they headed back.

* * *

Back in the house the atmosphere had changed. The rooms seemed brighter, the mood more festive. There was loud laughter and conversation back in the living room. Taking off all their coats and boots, the trio headed towards the happy sounds, curious.

Alex let Serenity and Jackie lead the way as they entered the living room. Coming in behind, Alex first caught sight of a petite woman with long, shining black hair. She had a bright, wide smile and was laughing heartily at something Maria had said. Alex found her smile infectious, and was soon grinning himself.

"Aunt Liz!" Jackie squealed as she jumped over the kids who were gathered back in the center of the living room (with two more dark haired girls in the mix) and wrapped her arms around the dark haired woman Alex had noticed.

The room itself quieted once again as Serenity also hurried forward and embraced the dark haired woman. Alex was still smiling, and his gaze shifting around the room he felt his smile falter.

Isabel was staring at him in absolute horror. Her eyes were wide, her face flushed, her mouth was moving as if she were trying to form words. Alex stared as her gaze shifted ever so slightly over Alex's shoulder. Turning, Alex saw Jesse and another man approaching the living room just behind him. Jesse's amused expression quickly transformed into an expression of shock and horror that mirrored Isabel's.

But Alex was no longer paying attention to either Jesse or Isabel. His eyes were fixed, taking in the look, the shape, the stride of the dark haired man that was standing next to Jesse. He was so familiar.

Suddenly, a memory played before Alex's eyes. He saw a smiling face beaming down on him; the dark brown eyes were full of sadness, but also full of love. The face, his father, was saying goodbye. The face…the face was familiar. The face was standing before him now.

Alex took a step forward, his jaw falling open as he suddenly realized what was happening. The meaningful looks he'd seen and the cryptic conversation he'd overheard all took on a larger, deeper meaning. Everything made more sense; the lawyer's connection; Isabel's cautioning to Jesse.

The memory which had once been something Alex thought he'd imagined in his desire to know he hadn't been unloved by his birth parents now was so strong in context and feeling that Alex wondered how he'd ever led it fade or doubted it's meaning.

His heart pounded fiercely in his chest. Suddenly finding it hard to breath, Alex took another short step forward. He tentatively reached out and without a word, soundlessly fell to the floor. The last thing he remembered was the look of immediate recognition on the stranger's face; on his father's face. Then the world faded to black as Alex lost consciousness.


	9. Something to Save

Alex stirred as he felt a cold chill travel through his body. Eyes opening, he saw faces hovering above him and felt the cool wetness of a cloth on his forehead. He could hear loud voices just beyond his line of sight, arguing. He tried to clear his head. Something had happened…

"Wait," Alex said, suddenly remembering the realization he'd come too just before he'd passed out. His eyes moved around him; he was on the sofa in the living room. The kids who had been playing in the center of the room where gone, the remnants of their game still strewn across the carpet. He felt panic rising as he wondered if he'd imagined the whole thing, or if the man, his birth father, had left and he'd never see him again.

"It's okay," Serenity was over him now, smoothing back his hair. The others had disappeared from his view.

"Where is he?" Alex asked desperately.

"Just relax," Serenity said, looking up and over Alex's head.

Straining his ears, Alex heard some of the conversation that was going on at the edge of the room. He could hear Isabel and Jesse, and a third voice; a man's voice, his voice.

Alex relaxed; he was still here, he hadn't gone.

"You knew about this?"

Alex thought he sounded so angry.

"I suspected," Isabel answered, her voice betraying sadness.

"We weren't sure what to do," Jesse added.

"What you should have done is told me!"

Alex started at his raised voice. He wasn't sure what to think. His heart was racing, his mind argued with itself as conflicting emotions raged through him.

"Max," Isabel's voice broke.

"Don't," Max replied.

Alex wanted to sit up, to see him again. But he couldn't make his body respond to what his mind wanted him to do.

"Help me," he said softly. Serenity's shocked expression moved slowly from the scene playing out before her, down to Alex.

"Help me up," he repeated, raising himself on his elbows and swinging his legs to the floor. Serenity helped him up to a sitting position. The damp washcloth fell to his lap. Alex tossed it absently onto the sofa cushion next to him.

"Guys," Serenity called out and Alex heard the three adults behind him move quickly from the archway of the living room. They appeared standing side by side before him as if they were about to be sentenced for a crime. Isabel and Jesse wore identical expressions of remorse and fear. Max looked to be in shock; his eyes wide, his face drawn down in slight frown of concern.

"How are you feeling?" Isabel asked softly.

"A little confused," Alex responded honestly, afraid to take his eyes off of his father. They were staring at each other with an intensity that began to frighten Alex.

"I'm sorry, Alex, this is all my fault. I didn't handle any of this very well," Isabel blurted.

Alex tore his eyes away from Max and looked upon Isabel; she was his aunt. Alex found that fact ironic, but also comforting. He wasn't angry with her he was surprised to discover. But he wasn't okay with the fact that she had done nothing with her suspicions, and in fact had lied to everyone.

"We should talk," Max said finally, his voice was barely above a whisper.

Serenity, who had been perched on the arm of the sofa, stood and backed quietly away while Isabel and Jesse wordlessly followed her out of the room. Alex was left alone with Max.

"Is this real?" He asked, certain he would wake up and find it was all a dream.

"Yes," Max answered, stepping forward and taking a seat next to Alex on the sofa. His eyes moved quickly, taking in his face.

"What happened?" Max asked.

"What happened? I don't know what you-," Alex started, but then nodded in understanding as Max indicated towards the bruises around Alex's eyes.

"I was hit in the face with a snowball," Alex smiled sheepishly, shrugging.

"Not a very admirable story," he added, his smile fading.

Max just nodded. His expression looked pained again.

"So, um," Alex started, a million questions swarming his head, but none of them finding their way out. A buzzing confusion began to distract Alex as he tried to figure out what the appropriate thing to say was.

"I can't believe this," Max said, ignoring Alex's stammering. His eyes were still wide, still taking in every inch of Alex's face.

"You look just like me when I was your age. I mean, aside from the swelling from your bruises. It's incredible."

Max's expression was awed and Alex began to feel slightly uncomfortable with the scrutiny he was under. He smiled awkwardly, as he also began to fully realize that this really happening. It wasn't going to turn into some awful coincidence that would leave him alone once again. It was still so hard to believe.

"You probably have a lot of questions for me," Max sighed.

Alex nodded.

"If you'll let me, I'd rather just tell you what happened? It might give you some answers," Max raised his eyebrows and again, Alex nodded.

Leaning back, Max began to speak.

"I was sixteen when I found out that Tess-she was your mother-was pregnant. The revelation that I was going to be a father scared me deeply, but I accepted the responsibility and was surprised to find that I was excited, and looking forward to your coming. But it wasn't even a few weeks after Tess told me she was pregnant that she disappeared. I searched for her, desperate to find you. I needed to see you, to protect you. I had to know you were safe. But there was no sign, no clue of where she had gone. It was nearly a year later that she reappeared, bringing you back to me.

"Not even two days after you were brought back into my life Tess died, and I was left alone with you. I hadn't even graduated High School yet. I then had to make the hardest decision of my life. I decided that I should give you up. I thought you needed a real family, a father  _and_  a mother. I thought you needed more than my seventeen year old self could provide you.

"I asked my father to take care of the adoption, and not to tell me where you ended up. I didn't want to know because it hurt too much. The day I had to hand you over was the most anguishing day of my life."

Max sighed and eyed Alex curiously.

"So my birth mother is dead," Alex repeated, the story sounding hollow in his ears, his heart breaking for the woman who had been his mother who he'd now never know. It wasn't the origin he had hoped for, but it also wasn't the origin he was dreading. He wasn't sure how he felt about it.

Max simply nodded in response, his eyes shifting to the floor before coming back to Alex.

"I'm not sure what to say," Alex added. He felt anger, and sadness, and confusion. It was almost too much for him to process at once.

"Did you ever find out where Tess disappeared too?" He finally asked after several long minutes of silence.

Max opened his mouth as if to speak, but instead he simply shook his head.

"So then you don't know  _when_  I was born," Alex replied sadly. The realization that the one and only person who had known his actual date of birth was dead was nearly too much to handle.

"I'm sorry, I don't. Tess died before I could learn much of anything from her," Max's eyes again shifted to the floor.

Alex watched him closely, suspicious of Max's wandering eyes and beginning to feel like there was more to the story then he was being told. Suddenly, he remembered what his other father had told him about his name.

"What does the name Zan mean?" Alex blurted.

The resulting shock and surprise on Max's face was not expected, and Alex immediately determined the name held much more significance than he'd previously considered.

"Where did you hear that name?" Max asked, sounding more then a little nervous.

"My dad," Alex couldn't help but notice Max flinch slightly, "told me that part of the adoption terms were that my name include Zan."

"Oh, I see," Max said, his expression intensely focused and Alex was left to wonder what his reply meant.

Alex stared hard at the man before him, himself beginning to see the familiarity in the shape of the ears and the dark brown eyes.

"Zan was a family name," Max finally added, looking away from Alex once more, but only briefly.

Alex nodded, but not because he accepted the answer. He nodded because somehow he knew Max was lying. There was more to it than he was admitting and it was beginning to make him angry. After everything that he had endured the last few months, and especially today, Alex felt he deserved the truth and nothing but.

"Where did everyone disappear too?" Alex asked, changing the subject. He didn't trust himself with his emotions just yet. He needed to think before he said something he'd regret.

"Oh, my parents took the kids to the kitchen for some dessert. The others are sitting in the dining room, probably talking about all this," Max offered a nervous, but apologetic, smile.

"And you're married now?"

"Liz, she was my high school sweetheart," Max nodded.

"I thought you were with Tess in high school?" Alex asked, confused. There were too many contradictions and omissions from Max's story and Alex felt anger and distrust creeping in again.

"I was. Just for a short time. Liz and I broke up for a few months, and that's when I was with Tess," Max's face flushed red and once again, his gaze shifted around the room. He was looking anywhere else but Alex's face.

"Hmmm," Alex stared at Max, trying to read the vacant expression.

"We have two daughters," Max smiled, his eyes returning to Alex, "Alexia and Kyla."

Alex couldn't help but smile wryly as he learned he had two more sisters; one with an eerily similar name too.

"I have a sister back home," Alex said, "Crystal is ten. How old are Alexia and Kyla?"

Alex found the names of his two newly discovered sisters felt odd to his tongue.

"Alexia is ten, and Kyla is six," Max replied, his face looked pained again.

Alex forced a smile. He still couldn't reconcile the gaps in the story Max had told. He wanted to demand more answers, but suddenly felt like he didn't have the right. It frustrated him to feel so confused and powerless.

"I do have a question," Alex finally spoke, fighting to keep his voice even. His nerves were frayed and his calm demeanor hung by a thread. Max looked at him in earnest.

"After I found out, you know, about being adopted, I was really hurt to know that my birth parents hadn't wanted me. And then when Jesse," Alex paused, shaking his head with embarrassment.  _Jesse must have thought me such an idiot_ , he thought.

"When Jesse told me the adoption was closed and that there was no chance of finding you, or of you finding me," Alex continued, his courage increasing, "It felt like I had been abandoned without a second thought. Like I was just an inconvenience that had been disposed off. I mean, I guess my question is, were you ever going to try and find me? I mean, if this all hadn't happened today, by fate or luck or whatever, would I have ever met you?"

Max was staring at Alex with wide, sad eyes.

"I don't know," he finally said, his voice no louder then a whisper.

"So many things have happened in the last eighteen years. When you were a baby I wasn't at a place in my life where I felt I could be anything more than an inconvenience to you. Later, when I was ready to be a father I wanted to assume you were happy, and I told myself that if I'd tried to insinuate myself into your life that it would not bring you happiness. But you weren't given up because you weren't wanted or loved. It was the opposite actually, you were wanted and loved so much that I knew I had to do what was best and make sure you had a stable, healthy family to take care of you," Max's tone began to sound desperate, pleading.

"I think about you every day, hoping you are healthy and happy. I wonder what you are doing, and where you are. I try not to think too much about what might have been, or what might happen, because it still hurts that you aren't with me."

Alex blinked back sudden tears as his emotions took another unexpected turn. All these declarations were painful to hear, but they also soothed the wounds in Alex's heart.

"Today even, just moments before you walked in I thought of you, I imagined you sitting at a table heaped with food, laughing and having a good time; happy and surrounded by people who love you."

You were happy growing up, weren't you?"

Alex nodded enthusiastically, composing himself before he dared to speak.

"Oh, yeah, my parents are great! I love them a lot. As a kid I never wanted for anything, and until Crystal was born I was the center of their universe. They didn't tell me about the adoption, though. I figured that out myself in high school when we were studying recessive and dominant genes. See my parents both have blue eyes. And mine are brown. So I knew there was something going on that I wasn't being told," Alex explained, feeling suddenly very protective of his adoptive parents, ready to defend them if Max made any disparaging remarks.

"You are indeed a smart kid, or man really," Max nodded, his expression impressed and once again Alex felt his heart swell.

"So what happens now?" Alex asked softly. They had been dancing around the obvious for nearly twenty minutes.

"I don't know," Max smiled and for the first time Alex felt an honest, true emotion emanating from him.

"Do you want like a blood test or something, some proof?" Alex blurted, suddenly fearful that once he left, Max would decide to denounce him as his son.

"Oh, no," Max shook his head, his eyes slightly wide and wild, "I mean, that's not necessary. Look at us."

Alex had to laugh as they were, if nothing else, near copies of each other. He wondered fleetingly if there was any part of him that looked like his birth mother.

"Besides, if I wanted too I could simply ask my father to open up the adoption files, get the names of the people who took you in and any remaining doubt would be silenced. But again, it's not necessary."

The clock in the entryway chimed the hour as the two, father and son newly discovered, sat in silence.

Alex stood suddenly, and Max's smile faltered as he slowly followed suit. Alex noted they were exactly the same height and had the same build.  _I certainly am my father's son_ , he thought.

"I need to go," Alex blurted, moving quickly towards the entryway. He could hear the murmur of faint conversation coming from the adjacent dining room, along with the chinking of silverware on plates.

"Oh, okay," Max said cautiously, standing at the sofa watching Alex step quickly into his boots and pull on his coat.

"Tell everyone goodbye for me," Alex said, hazarding one last, long look at his birth father. The memory he'd had before he'd passed out, where he saw a smiling face beaming down on him; the dark brown eyes full of sadness, but also full of love, resurfaced with increased intensity. The eyes from his memory were identical to the ones he was looking at now; his expression the same as well.

"Can we talk again?" Max asked quickly, desperately, as Alex backed to the door, his hand resting on the cold metal handle. He suddenly and with intense desire, needed to get out of that house.

"Sure, you can get my number from Jackie," Alex forced a smile as he pulled the door open. A rush of cold air swept into the entry and Alex could see that it was still snowing. He hoped the buses hadn't stopped running.

"Uh, bye," Alex blinked once, then bolted from the house, slamming the door behind him and running as fast as he could to the bus stop, slipping on the icy sidewalk but managing to keep himself from falling. He waited alone at the stop, his side aching with sharp pains as he gulped in mouthfuls of freezing cold winter air. His face was frozen and it was only after he boarded the bus and started to warm up that he realized he was crying.

* * *

Back at the dorm, Alex sank onto his bed, curling up into a tight ball. He'd found what he'd wanted. But still, he was haunted by feelings of loneliness, of not belonging anywhere. The dorm was quiet. Only three other students on his floor had remained over the break, and Alex was relieved at the quiet and solitude.

As night progressed, Alex lay silent in a cocoon of blankets, the only light illuminating his room coming from the streetlamps outside. He wasn't sure when, but eventually Alex fell asleep.

Pounding on the door brought Alex back to the land of the living. Glancing at the clock radio he saw it was nearly nine o'clock at night. Throwing off his blankets, Alex stumbled towards the door, his head thick with foggy memories of the day.

Opening the door, Alex felt a wave of joy as his tired eyes set upon Serenity. He stepped sideways and ushered her into the still dark room.

"You left," she said with a hurt tone as Alex closed the door, slipping the deadbolt.

She was cold from the journey. He removed her coat and tossed it onto Jerry's bed where he'd thrown his own hours earlier. She pulled her hat and mittens off and added them to the pile.

"Sorry," he mumbled, pulling her into a tight embrace.

"Are you okay?" She asked, her face buried in the hollow of his chest.

When Alex didn't respond, she pulled back, her eyes searching.

"I don't know," Alex sighed, stepping away and sitting back onto his bed.

"It's what you wanted. I mean, you found out the truth?"

"Yes, but not because of anything I did, or because of the legal system. It's hard to explain. This would never have happened if I hadn't become friends with Jackie, or stayed here for Thanksgiving, or even decided to leave Montana for college," Alex rambled, his frustration growing.

"It was all random coincidence," he added.

"I'm sorry," Serenity sat next to Alex, wrapping herself around his arm and leaning her head on his shoulder.

"Why are you sorry?"

"I feel like I should have known, or something," she said softly.

Alex started, a frightening thought suddenly occurring to him.

"Did Jackie know, do you think?" he asked, not sure he really wanted to know the answer.

"No," Serenity lifted her head, speaking with certainty. "She would definitely have told you. Though I think she suspected something, I'm just not sure what. After you left, she and her parents disappeared into another room. That's when I decided to come after you. Well, after I had an argument with my dad about leaving," Serenity spat the last few words, sounding angry.

"What happened between you and your dad? Why is he so awful to you?" Alex asked, desperately needing to think about something other then his own issues, and welcoming any distraction.

Serenity sighed, but didn't answer right away. When she did, Alex found it wasn't at all what he expected to hear.

"Simon isn't my brother, he's my son."

"He's-, what?" Alex shook his head, completely at a loss for words.

"Early last year I talked my parent's into letting me take an art class at the community college near our apartment. The Instructor for the class was an older guy in his 30's, and, well, we became involved. I found out I was pregnant about two months into the relationship, and he promptly refused to acknowledge me and the baby. When I told my parents they flipped out. My mom cried, my dad shouted and ranted at me. You can imagine."

Alex nodded, the few short hours he'd spent in the company of Michael Guerin had been more then enough to last him a while.

"My mom wanted to file rape charges against the guy, but I wouldn't let her. My father; well, he wanted to rip the guy's throat out. Needless to say, the guy left town under some strong suggestion from my dad.

"At first I wanted to give the baby up for adoption. I mean I was sixteen and in no position to take care of a baby; but believe it or not, my mom talked me out of that. She told me she'd had a friend in high school who had given up a child, and the pain and anguish that friend had endured because of that decision was indescribable. She didn't want to see me go through that, and live with regretting my decision. She promised that she and my father would help me raise the baby. My dad agreed, as angry and disappointed in me as he was. So now we're one, big, dysfunctional family. Poor Simon…I still don't know what will happen when he's old enough to understand. He doesn't call me mom and he really doesn't know me as anything but his sister. But I do think he's better for it. I can be in his life, but I'm not screwing it up as a young single parent. I don't know," Serenity sighed as if a huge weight had been lifted.

Alex was in shock, and didn't know what to say. Suddenly, his problems didn't seem so devastating.

"You know that the friend my mom told me about was Max," Serenity added.

"Yeah," Alex replied, his mind working over the strange situation that they were all in; how it was all connected, emotionally and otherwise.

"I'm sorry," he added, "I had no idea about any of this. I mean, Jackie alluded to something in your past, but not this."

"It's okay. I wouldn't have expected you to know any of this," Serenity smiled calmly and Alex stared at her, the low light from the streetlamps cast a delicate glow on her pale skin. Her full lips were lifting at the corners, forming an impish smile.

Alex leaned in and forgot all the drama of the day as Serenity met him halfway, their lips moving, touching, teasing. He pulled her tighter to him as they both gently lay down onto his bed. His hands moved on her back, exploring her as she ran her long fingers through his thick dark hair, and traced the contours of his jaw. Breathing hard, Serenity pulled back, looking down at Alex with an intensity that frightened and exhilarated him.

"I want to," she said, and Alex felt his breath catch as her face came back to his, their lips softly, gently, passionately moving together again.

A soft knock on the door was barely noticed as Alex started to pull Serenity's shirt up and over her head.

"Alex?"

The sound of Jackie's voice did cause them both to freeze, catching their attention. Serenity pulled back, standing and straightening her shirt while Alex sighed and swung off the bed. He headed towards the door, turning on the bright florescent lights as he went.

"Hi, Jackie," Alex opened the door and ushered in his friend, no, his cousin he corrected himself.

"Hey," Jackie walked in, her face flushed from the cold.

"Hey Jacks," Serenity smiled and Alex saw Jackie pause, taking in the somewhat disheveled appearance of the bed and Alex.

"I hope I wasn't interrupting," Jackie said, her tone indicating otherwise. Alex watched Serenity shrug, her face blushing brightly.

"I was worried, and I have some news for you," Jackie shook her head as she turned and spoke to Alex, stripping off her own winter layers and adding them to the growing pile of coats and hats and scarves on Jerry's bed.

"Yeah, what news is that," Alex sighed, moving to his desk and perching on the edge. Serenity moved next to him, snuggling up into his side. Alex felt a rush of heat course through him.

"Well, first you should know that Max and Liz weren't expected back to the States until next week. But something happened on their trip so they cut it short by a few days and decided to surprise everyone by showing up unannounced at Thanksgiving."

Alex nodded. It made sense, the surprise on everyone's face when they'd returned to the house.

"My mom, try though she might have, definitely didn't handle the situation very well. She was trying to explain to my grandparents why she didn't contact Max as soon as she could, since she suspected you were his son. Her excuse was that she wasn't sure you could handle the 'alien stuff'," Jackie shook her head as she made quotations with her hands in the space in front of her.

"Such a lame excuse, I mean, eventually you would have met Max. It's not like I wasn't going to invite you to my birthday party; to our birthday party," Jackie motioned towards Serenity, "and he's my uncle and Godfather, so of course he'd be there too.

"What could she have done, refused me to invite you, one of my best friends? She really had no idea what she was doing. I think she hoped it would all handle itself-which is really quite odd because my mom is kind of a control freak about almost everything."

Alex heard everything she said, but his attention was drawn back to what she'd said moments earlier.

"Wait, what?" he interrupted, confused.

"What do you mean exactly by 'alien stuff'? Is your family illegal aliens or something?"

Alex watched Jackie's expression transition from frustratingly amused to terrified as the color drained from her face. Serenity, who had moments before been cozy and relaxed next to Alex, stiffened and pulled away. Alex looked from Jackie to Serenity, and saw she wore the same terrified and panicked look.

"What?" Alex asked, as he looked between the two of them.

"Oh, no," Jackie groaned as she buried her face in her hands.


	10. Never There

Alex stared at Jackie and Serenity with disbelief. He was sure they were teasing him, they had to be. He was a student of science, but he'd never believed in aliens or any of that science fiction stuff. Practical science is what held his attention.

He had remained silently perched on his bed while his two closest friends had stood before him telling him that not only did aliens exist, but that his birth parents, Isabel, and Michael were all aliens; or rather, alien-human hybrids.

 _They had to be making it up_ , he thought with complete certainty as he stared at them, almost smiling at the story they'd told. But they stared back at him with an intensity that was serious; too serious. Alex felt the incredulous expression on his face falter as the two girls didn't crack, suddenly laughing hysterically and telling Alex he was too gullible. They simply watched him in silent concern; absolutely serious.

Alex fought the urge to scream. His brain was on maximum overload and suddenly he wished himself back in time, still ignorant of everything he'd learned in the last twelve hours.

"You're serious," he finally said, crossing his arms over his chest as if to protect himself.

Jackie slowly nodded, her expression regretful and a bit worried.

"So, are you two, uh, alien hybrids too?" Alex asked, the question sounding utterly and completely ridiculous to his own ears, as he still held out some small hope that this was all some cruel joke that he would eventually forgive his two closest friends for playing on him.

Jackie broke a smile and Alex felt relief as he started to suspect that they had been teasing him all along.

"Well technically, yes; but in reality no. I'm 'normal', or completely human. So are my sisters and brother," her fingers went into the air and formed quotes as she spoke, "my mom is only half alien after all, and my dad is completely human, so genetically the odds were in our favor."

Alex nodded, his jaw slack, his eyes feeling like they were bulging out of his head. He looked to Serenity and felt his stomach drop.

"I, uh, well, I do have some alien tendencies," she muttered, her face flushing a deep red as she avoided Alex's stare and seemed to examine the room's dingy carpet with new intensity.

"My blood doesn't look like yours, or any other human," Serenity added, her eyes glancing up at Alex then back to the carpet.

"Oh," Alex said dumbly, still absolutely certain that he was being tricked but realizing that there was no way Jackie and Serenity would take the joke this far. He felt a sinking sensation in his stomach. Aliens weren't real; he was of the absolute belief of that; or was he?

"Alex," Jackie moved and sat next to him. He leaned away from her instinctively, then regretted it as he tried to ignore the hurt look on her face.

"This is very serious," she continued. Alex briefly glanced up at Serenity. She was still staring at the floor, twirling the silver bangle she wore on her wrist.

"I never ever should have said anything. In fact I can't believe I slipped up like I did. I've never made this kind of mistake before and as clichéd as it sounds my life and Serenity's life and our family's lives are dependent on you keeping this to yourself. There hasn't been any trouble in the last fifteen or so years, but my mom has told me horror stories from when she was in high school; when a special unit of the FBI spent nearly three years hunting her, Max, and Michael."

Alex nodded, certain he would never tell a soul about this,  _who would even believe me_ , he thought sourly. Disbelief and doubt still hovered around him, but the feelings were beginning to fade as he slowly began to accept that what they were telling him was real.

"I must really trust you to have blurted it out like that," Jackie added and Alex stared at her, noticing her eyes, wide and silently pleading for his understanding. Alex glanced away and looked around his dorm room. It appeared so normal…football posters, a calendar with women in bikinis over Jerry's bed, a few family photos that he and Jerry had set up on the window sill…it all seemed so generic now.

"Am I…?" he asked, leaving the last part of the question hanging in the air as the realization and fear seized him suddenly. He turned back to Jackie with frightful eyes. She shrugged.

"If you haven't noticed anything odd about yourself, or that you can do things that should be impossible, then probably not," she added.

"You're really not kidding?" he asked again, breathless as his mind tried without doubt to accept what it had never before believed possible.

"No! We are not kidding!" Serenity suddenly screamed.

Alex and Jackie looked at her in surprise. She had tears streaming down her face and was breathing fast. Alex wanted to stand up, to comfort her, but something in her expression told him it wasn't what she needed or wanted from him.

"I'm sorry," he finally said, and he knew he meant it. He felt an ache in his chest seeing her so upset.

Serenity nodded, more calm, and excusing herself she disappeared out the door.

Alex watched her go, his heart in turmoil.

"She's very sensitive about this," Jackie said apologetically and Alex nodded. "She's the only one out of all of us who inherited some of the alien genes. She really wishes she were, you know, 'normal' too."

"I guess I would too, I mean, if it were me," Alex almost started laughing, his body battling hysteria as the ludicrous story became more a part of his reality with each passing moment.

"I think you should talk to Max," Jackie said, "He can answer the more difficult questions. I don't know too many details about all this. And now that I've blown the secret, you deserve to know how it all affects you."

Alex nodded. The prospect of seeing Max again was thrilling, but frightening. Knowing now that his birth father was half alien made the reunion all the more difficult to absorb and understand. But he did have so many new questions to ask…

Serenity came back into the room, her face pale and her expression neutral.

"Can I talk to Alex alone?" she said softly and Jackie nodded and jumped quickly to her feet.

"Yeah, I should get back home and let everyone know that I spilled the beans," Jackie pulled on her coat and hat, laughing nervously.

"I just hope I don't get into too much trouble."

Alex heard the dread in her voice, but couldn't find the energy to try and comfort or reassure her.

"Uh, I guess I'll see you later?" she said, pausing with her eyes on Alex. He nodded and after a quick glance at Serenity she was gone.

Alex and Serenity were once again alone in the dorm room. The excitement and passion that had consumed them prior to Jackie's arrival was only a memory now; the silence deafening as they looked at each other. Alex tried to keep his expression blank; he didn't want Serenity to think he was judging her.

"Are you repulsed by me?" she finally asked, her voice slightly unsteady.

"No," Alex replied, shaking his head, trying to convey the absolute truth of his answer.

"I'm just in shock. It's not everyday you find out not only who your birth parents are but that they were, or are, part of an alien invasion," Alex forced a smile, but it felt fake on his face.

"It wasn't an invasion," Serenity said softly and Alex regretted using the term.

"Don't you want to know about me? I mean aren't you curious?" She asked, her tone begging him for acceptance. Alex felt another stabbing pain in his chest. She looked so injured and alone.

"I don't know," he answered honestly, "This is all a little much."

Serenity sighed and nodded.

"I don't want to leave-," she said, pausing. Alex watched her fighting for words.

"I don't to leave with you thinking bad of me!"

Alex laughed and shook his head. Serenity stared at him with a hurt expression and Alex stood, approaching her slowly.

"I wouldn't think bad of you," he smiled, and the pained expression on Serenity's face softened a bit. "It's not like any of this is your fault."

"In fact," Alex gulped a mouthful of air and took the plunge, "I think I might be in love with you."

As soon as he said it he knew it was true. He felt his stomach twist in knots as his heart hammered in his chest. Her bright green eyes were wide with surprise, and Alex realized that he really didn't care at all that she was part alien. A part of him didn't even care that his birth parents were from another planet. He simply cared about her, and that she didn't doubt him or hurt because of him. It was an odd sensation; to know such a secret about someone but to not care in the end, to know that it didn't matter. Alex craved the feelings and silently prayed she would declare the same thing back to him.

"I, uh…wow," she stared and Alex felt a new, more primal fear seize his heart; fear that maybe she didn't feel as strongly about him.

He tried to control his emotions as her eyes searched his face. He tried to hide his new, sudden fear; the fear that had nothing to do with anything alien.

"I think I might love you too," she finally said, breaking into a wide grin, her eyes dancing.

Alex broke into a mirroring grin as they reached for each other, holding one another in a gentle embrace. His heart was swelling as he inhaled her scent. He didn't want to let her go ever again.

"I'm glad we settled that, at least," Alex whispered, smiling as Serenity softly sighed with laughter and tightened her embrace.

* * *

The entire world looked new the next morning when Alex woke up. The sky outside was a bright, deep blue, and the ground was covered with another four inches of fresh, sparkling snow. Alex stared out the windows of his dorm and admired the unblemished courtyard. The new snow had buried the giant red blood stain and Alex was relieved he would no longer have to be reminded of the embarrassment of that snowy morning snowball fight.

It was nearly nine o'clock in the morning and Alex, high off the declarations he and Serenity had made, found himself whistling as he poured a bowl of cereal, using the last of the milk he had in his mini-fridge. The other events of the previous evening, Max and the alien stuff, seemed very far away, and very much like a silly dream. For a moment Alex wondered if any of it had really happened. Suddenly his phone rang, startling him out of his reverie.

It was Jackie. It seemed the alien-trio wanted to talk with him about what he'd learned the previous evening. Alex sighed with a heavy heart. It hadn't all been a dream, it had really happened. He arranged with Jackie to be outside waiting in thirty minutes. He dreaded being alone in a vehicle with Isabel and Michael…now that he knew what he did about them.

He found he was afraid.

Thirty minutes later he was outside, waiting in the near-empty parking lot. He wasn't there long before a large, black Cadillac SUV pulled up, tires squeaking as they travelled over the fresh snow. The front passenger window came down halfway and Alex saw Michael eying him distrustfully. For a moment Alex panicked that one of their alien powers might be mind reading and that he'd seen what had almost happened between him and Serenity and he regretted not asking more about it the night before.

"Get in! It's cold out," Isabel leaned around Michael and motioned Alex towards the vehicle, a kind smile on her face.

Alex breathed out slowly and opened the back door. He offered a nervous smile to Isabel as he climbed into the warm vehicle and buckled his seat belt. He was relieved to be sitting behind Michael so he could avoid eye contact. Alex started to doubt that they could read minds, but he was still afraid. He found there was a lot he didn't know and he wished Jackie or Serenity were with him.

"We're going over to Max and Liz's, Alex, if that's all right with you?" Isabel questioned, turning in her seat to look at him for approval even as she steered the large SUV out of the dorm parking lot.

Alex nodded with trepidation. He wasn't sure how he felt knowing he would get to see where his birth-father lived, and how. Fearful, nervous, excited, there were too many emotions involved for Alex to think clearly.

The drive was slow, the roads a mess. Alex tried to ignore the other traffic and stared out the window as they drove through parts of the city he hadn't seen before. Soon they were in a more residential neighborhood, where large houses that Alex might have even called small mansions, were peeking majestically over and out from behind tall wrought iron fences and bushy snow-covered hedges.

The Cadillac slowly steered through the quiet neighborhood, leaving fresh tracks in the still untouched snow. The homes got bigger the further into the neighborhood they drove and Alex was a little shocked that his birth father lived in such opulence. He wouldn't have guessed, though he should have known based on what Jackie had told him about their grand vacations every year.

About twenty minutes after he'd been picked up, the SUV slowed and Alex turned towards the direction Isabel was heading. Before him, rising out of the fresh snow was a large white, three-story, colonial style home with six large pillars across the front. Bright red shutters seemed to scream out at him, a very stark contrast to the whiteness all around. The house was flanked on either side by two large conifer trees, spruces, if Alex had to guess. The trees were taller than the roof and weighted down by the snow. The roof itself was also covered in snow, but the two large brick chimneys that jutted out were belching whitish smoke into the cold morning.

"Here we are," Isabel looked back at Alex and offered what she probably thought was a supportive smile, but Alex found it to be frightening. The vehicle came to a slow stop as near the front door as was possible, and Isabel and Michael got out. Alex gripped the door handle, his hands clammy and sweating inside his gloves.

"Here goes nothing," he muttered, taking a deep breath and following Isabel and Michael to the front door where Max was already standing, waiting for them to come inside.


	11. In Theory

Max looked tired, Alex noticed as he watched him smile sadly at Isabel and Michael as they passed him. Alex wondered what kind of greeting he was expected to give.

"Hi," Alex blurted, sticking out his gloved hand as his heart leaped in his chest, speaking before Max had a chance to first.

"Alex," Max smiled a little wider, more warmth present then moments earlier as he eagerly gripped Alex's glove.

He tried to return the smile, but found his mouth wouldn't obey the order from his brain. Releasing Max's hand he stepped into the warm house. Isabel and Michael were hanging their coats on the wall next to the door, and Alex followed suit as he noted the two small pink winter coats hanging, with two pairs of bright pink snow boots on the floor beneath.  _My sister's boots,_  Alex thought with newfound fascination. He hung his coat next to theirs.

"Who wants some coffee?" Max offered as Alex eyed the three adults before him, trying not to think about the fact that they were all half alien. Somehow, today, in the daylight without his best friends, the truth was a little more frightening.

Alex followed as they all headed into the kitchen. The house, Alex noted, was as large inside as it appeared to be from the outside, the downstairs one big open floor plan. A large, wide staircase led up from the middle of the house, and a large kitchen and living room made up the majority of the rest of the downstairs, stretching out endlessly it seemed from either side of the grand staircase.

"Where are the girls?" Isabel asked as she and Michael moved around the kitchen comfortably. Alex stood near the edge of the room and stared uncomfortably at the three adults, watching with strange fascination as the aliens went about such a normal routine as making coffee.

"Liz is upstairs with them," Max glanced at Alex quickly, "we told them last night about Alex, and they were quite excited to have a big brother. Quite anxious to meet him too."

Alex felt his face burn as the three of them turned to him. Max and Isabel were smiling slightly, while Michael still scowled and looking generally angry. Alex wondered fleetingly if he ever smiled.

"They were going to go shopping this morning, you know for all the sales, but the snow kept them in. So Liz is keeping them upstairs for now," Max added, pouring a steaming cup of coffee and handing it to Alex.

"Should we sit?" Isabel said, settling at the table in the brightly lit breakfast nook that faced the backyard of the house. Alex gripped his mug tightly and moved to sit next to Isabel. Looking outside Alex could see a large wooden playset with swings and a slide. The snow glinted like diamonds in the bright morning sun, still undisturbed.

Max and Michael sat across from Isabel and Alex, and a deafening silence settled on the house. Alex felt like he could crawl out of his skin. He'd never been so uncomfortable in his life; that he could remember.

"What happens now?" Alex said suddenly, not meaning to speak but unable to handle the thick silence any longer.

"I was hoping we could get to know each other, and that I could answer your questions. Now that you know what we are," Max said, staring hard at Alex. His tone was casual, but his expression was intense.

"Right," Alex nodded, knowing he had so many questions but finding he didn't know how to ask them.

"Do you want to ask us anything?" Max prompted.

"I, uh, yes, but I'm not sure…," Alex stammered, embarrassed. It was all still so crazy and ridiculous and weird.

"Maybe we should just tell you what we can, than if you still have questions afterwards we can answer them?" Isabel suggested, nodding hopefully.

"Okay," Alex mumbled, sipping his coffee and wincing as it burned his tongue. He felt relieved, and still a little scared.

"There's a lot we don't know," Isabel started, and Alex listened. He forgot about his burnt tongue, as first Isabel and then Max began their tale.

* * *

"So you crash landed in Roswell in 1947, and didn't emerge from your-," Alex paused, shaking his head slightly, "you didn't emerge until 1990?"

"Roughly yes. Izzie and I were about six years old when our parents found us wandering in the desert," Max repeated.

Alex stole a quick glance at Michael. So far, the story hadn't included what had happened to him, he'd only heard about Diane and Phillip coming across Max and Isabel in the desert and how they'd taken them home.

"And they adopted you," Alex confirmed as Isabel and Max nodded.

"But how did they not know you were, you know, different?" Alex avoided their eyes as he asked, staring at his now empty coffee mug.

"We didn't really have any real powers yet, at least none we knew how to control and use; but when our parents did try to take us into the hospital for a medical exam, Isabel freaked out. It probably saved our lives. They took us back home and after a few weeks, when we didn't show any signs of illness they simply didn't take us back. By then, we were so attached to them that they did what is likely the only illegal thing in their lives, and had a false adoption drawn up by a friend," Max continued.

"John Rather," Alex mumbled and Max's eyes widened slightly with surprise.

"Jackie and I did a little research and found his name was connected with my adoption too," Alex said.

"Ah," Max nodded, "I didn't know, but I should have suspected."

After the adoption, life went on and nothing out of the ordinary occurred. We were for all intensive purposes normal kids, and happy with our new family," Max paused and glanced sideways at Michael.

"We were lucky," he added, "Michael and Tess weren't so lucky. At least not lucky in the same way as Izzie and I."

Alex straightened up at the mention of his birth mother's name.

"What happened?" he asked, forgetting about his nervous fear when it came to Serenity's father.

"Michael was taken into the foster care system, and lived until he was 16 with an awful man," Max replied and Alex stole another glance at Michael. His expression hadn't altered as he continued to glower at Alex with distrust.

"Tess didn't emerge from her pod at the same time as the rest of us, so I'm not sure of her story, only that once she did get out, she managed to reunite with Nasado, our protector, and they lived together until High School, when they found us. But I'll go more into that later," Max said and Alex just nodded, now fascinated with the story, almost forgetting that it was his heritage too.

"Life was going well, things were for the most part normal, until the summer before sophomore year of High School. I had a huge crush on Liz, ever since I set eyes on her in the first grade. She worked at a diner, The Crashdown. It was owned by her family, and I would drag Michael and Isabel there almost daily to eat. I'm surprised she was so clueless about it," Max smiled as his face took on a far-away expression.

"So it was about a week before school started that everything changed. We were in the diner, and these two men started arguing. One of them pulled a gun and it went off. Liz was shot in the stomach. It was likely a fatal injury. And without thinking I immediately ran to her and with no thoughts of anything but saving her life, I healed her."

"You healed her?" Alex repeated slowly, "What does that mean?"

"It's my power, I can heal wounds and injuries," Max answered, his expression no longer reminiscent of the past, but slightly tight and drawn.

"Oh," Alex said dumbly, quickly remembering again what his birth-father really was, half-alien.

"So," Max continued, watching Alex, "I healed her and exposed myself, and all of us, at the same time. Michael and Isabel were furious, but I couldn't help it, I couldn't let her die."

Alex nodded in understanding, knowing he would have done the same thing if he'd had the power, had Serenity or even Jackie been shot.

"I had to tell Liz what I, or rather we, were, and for a short while things were good. I thought we had contained it. But I was wrong. Not even a few months after Liz was shot, the FBI showed up and that's when things started to go wrong."

Alex listened as Max told him of the pod chamber, the healing stones, and Agent Pierce. He held back tears he didn't expect as Max described his experiences in FBI custody; and he found himself completely overwhelmed when Max started talking about Antar, Nasado and his death, and of course Tess.

"Liz and I, for reasons that no longer matter, were not together when Tess and I created you," Max paused, his face reddening slightly.

"And not long after I found out Tess was pregnant, I also found out that she had been deceiving all of us. She had made a deal with our enemy back home on Antar, Kivar was his name, to bring back my child. After she became pregnant she tricked me into thinking you were unable to survive in the Earth's atmosphere, and so we activated the Granolith. It was our only way back to our home planet. We were moments from leaving Earth forever when Michael decided to stay behind with Maria, and it was at that moment Liz showed up with new information about Tess."

Alex looked at Michael and was surprised to see his expression had softened, though he had still not uttered a word.

"Liz told us that Tess had killed Alex," Max said, and Alex started at his own name.

"Alex was Liz and Maria's other best friend, and for a short time I dated him," Isabel interjected her voice soft. "The first time you called for Jackie and spoke your name it took me by surprise. I hadn't heard that name for years."

Alex nodded in understanding as he remembered that phone call.

"But why would Tess kill Alex?" he asked, finding it odd to speak his own name.

"Because she was a psycho bitch," Michael blurted and Alex saw he was glowering again, but this time Alex felt it wasn't aimed towards him.

"Tess had a unique power. She was able to make people see things that weren't really happening, that weren't really there. She tricked Alex into thinking he had spent a summer in Sweden when in actuality he was holed up in a room decoding a language from this book we had recovered from the crash site. A book from home, from Antar. This book was supposedly going to tell us where the Granolith was and how to get back home."

The strain of Tess's mind-warping, as she called it, broke something in Alex's head, and he was in a car accident and died. There's no doubt that what Tess did caused his death," Max said, his voice taking an edge of anger.

Alex fought confusion. There was so much information to process.

"I thought you already knew where the Granolith was? Or is that how you found it?" Alex asked, trying to piece everything together.

"We did already knew where it was, but we didn't trust Tess to tell her," Max sighed. "Everything was so complicated, there was such a web of lies and secrets. The point is, before we could leave Earth with Tess we learned the truth, and Isabel and I decided to stay behind. So Tess left, she took the Granolith back to Antar."

Alex nodded, unable to think about anything but the fact that Max had let Tess leave, knowing she was pregnant.  _He let her leave with me_ , Alex thought, not sure how it made him feel.

"I thought you couldn't survive in Earth's atmosphere," Max said pleadingly, seeming to read Alex's mind, "I would never have let Tess leave with you had I known it was another trick she was playing. But I wasn't going to gamble with your life so I had to let her go," Max's eyes searched Alex's face.

"I understand," Alex said, and he did in theory, but it still hurt.

"Alex was a wonderful friend and person, and letting Tess leave knowing she had caused his death was nearly impossible, but we did it for you. None of us would gamble with your life like that," Isabel added and turning to her, Alex saw tears falling silently from her eyes.

"So Tess left-," Alex replied, stopping suddenly as the realization of what that meant for him started to become clearer.

"When did Tess return?" Alex asked slowly, staring hard at Max.

"You were a baby when Tess came back. She crashed another ship in the desert, and after a few days of running from the authorities, she surrendered herself to them and sacrificed her life to keep you and the rest of us safe. It was the one selfless thing she ever did," Max avoided Alex's stare.

"Was I born on Earth?" Alex asked, his voice rising with a strange panic in his chest.

"No," Max answered softly.

"You have got to be kidding me," Alex felt the blood leave his face as he tried to comprehend the fact that not only was he born of two human-alien hybrids, but that he hadn't even born on Earth. He found that he simply couldn't reconcile that last fact. His brain would not believe it.

"That's not even possible," he added, his voice now barely a whisper.

"Get him some water," Alex heard Michael say loudly as he felt more then saw or heard Isabel move beside him. Moments later a cool glass was pressing against his lips as she tried to get him to drink. Alex was paralyzed with shock however, and instead of drinking he felt water run down his face, wetting his shirt through to the skin.

"Alex?"

He heard Max's voice, calling, but couldn't answer. How could he be human, but have been born on another planet? It wasn't possible. Alex had reached the point of maximum shock.

"This is all a joke, right?" Alex finally spoke, his voice sounding very far away from himself. He had come back to the same conclusion that he'd drawn when Jackie and Serenity had first told him about the 'alien stuff', as Jackie had termed it. The only logical explanation was that it was all a joke.

"No, it's not a joke," Michael responded.

Alex stirred, drawn out of the shock of what he'd learned simply by the sincerity he heard in that one statement. His eyes focused and he looked at Michael. For the first time since he'd met him, there was sympathy in his expression.

"It's not a joke," he repeated.

"God, this is impossible to believe. I mean to really believe!" Alex said to him, feeling stronger. Michael just nodded.

"I know, but it's the truth. You can either freak out about it, or accept it. Either way it's not going to change the facts. You were born on another planet," Michael leaned forward as he spoke and Alex found his bluntness and intensity somewhat comforting.

"I-," Alex shook his head slightly, "I don't know."

Michael nodded, his eyes still locked with Alex's. As they stared at each other, Alex replayed Max's story in his head, each new fact trumping the last until he once again reached the point of his birth. He leaned his head slowly forward, cradling it in his hands as he accepted what Michael had said. It was the truth, no matter how ridiculous it seemed, or how much Alex fought to believe it…it was the truth.

"Alex, give me your hand."

Alex started, and looked up to see Max reaching across the table, his hand outstretched.

"I want to try something," Max said, "it might help you understand everything we've told you."

Alex, feeling there was nothing more he could be shocked by, silently reached out his hand and grasped Max's. For a moment there was nothing but the warm sensation of human skin.

"Relax, try and clear your mind," Max said softly as he closed his eyes.

Alex glanced briefly at Isabel, and she smiled and nodded encouragingly. Closing his eyes, Alex tried to clear his mind…and he was shocked when he saw in his mind, scenes from a life that wasn't his. He saw Isabel and Michael, Maria and Liz, all as young kids. He saw a pretty blond girl that must have been Tess. He saw a tall, geeky looking boy that must have been Alex…he saw everything. Everything Max, Isabel and Michael had told him and explained to him.

"Wow," Alex breathed out when Max finally pulled his hand away.

"I second that," Max said, smiling. Alex furrowed his brow questioningly.

"How did you do that?" he asked, remembering what he'd seen, but finding the images themselves were already fading away.

"I'm not sure, it's something we all can do, at least with those people we feel close too and have a bond with," Max said, still smiling widely.

"Does it work both ways?" Alex asked slowly, thinking he might understand now why Max was smiling so broadly.

Max nodded and laughed while Alex blushed, knowing that he'd probably seen everything that had happened that last few months, specifically what had happened between him and Serenity.

"I guided you through my memories," Max said, his laughter dying, "I let you see what you needed so you could understand."

"Right," Alex said, a little angry that his private thoughts and moments had been invaded.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think there was another way," Max said, the laughter gone from his face.

"What did you see, Max?" Isabel asked, her voice curious and light.

"It doesn't matter," Max replied. "Alex, really, I am sorry."

"It's fine," Alex sighed, knowing it was too late to change what had happened.

Alex stared at Max, Michael and Isabel, no longer afraid. He still had a hard time putting together all the information he'd received, but the more he thought about it, the easier it was to accept, especially now that he'd shared Max's memories. There was no denying the truth of the situation. He marveled at how quickly his life had changed in the last two days.

"So what powers do you all have?" Alex asked, feeling bold.

"I can enter people's dreams," Isabel smiled and Alex panicked slightly, wondering if she'd ever entered his dreams. His expression must have been easy to read because Isabel shook her head at him. Alex relaxed.

"I can alter my appearance," Michael answered, and as Alex stared he changed his hair color from light brown to black, than back again.

Alex laughed.

"Can all of you do the same stuff?"

"Some of our powers are similar, but my healing power is unique to me, just like these two have their own unique powers. All of us can change basic molecular structures though, and manipulate simple mechanisms like door locks."

Alex nodded, fascinated, suddenly wishing he had special powers too, ignoring the fact that he'd have to be part alien for that to be true.

"I'm normal though," he blurted, and Max laughed.

"Yes, that's actually why Tess brought you back to Earth. Kivar and his allies on Antar rejected you because you were completely human. And that's why, when you came back into my life, I felt it necessary to give you up," Max said, the tone in the room returning to its previously serious nature.

"I told my father I didn't want to know where you ended up, so that no one could use you to get to me. At the time we were still having problems with the FBI. I didn't know how long, if ever, it would be before it would be safe. So I sent you away so you could have a normal life. I never stopped thinking about you and wondering if you were okay. And I spent every day hoping you were happy and healthy."

"I was," Alex replied to the implied question.

"I'm glad," Max smiled.

"When did Tess return?" Alex asked.

"It was in late April, I believe," Max answered, his expression questioning.

"I really wish I knew when I was born," Alex nodded.

"I would say you were probably born in December sometime, you were about four to five months old when she reappeared with you" Max offered with an apologetic smile. Alex noticed though his expression was comforting there was a slight edge in his voice.

"I wish I'd have thought to ask Tess about it, but we weren't on friendly terms at the end."

Alex felt a surprising flash of anger towards Max on behalf of his birth-mother, even though he'd never known her. A part of him was from her, and Alex felt like the more Max and the others berated her, it berated him as well.

"I wish you wouldn't talk about her with that tone," Alex said softly, "I know you all didn't like her, but she was my mother, and a part of her is in me. It feels like your condemning me for her crimes when you talk like that."

There was a long silence. Michael was again scowling at the table, and Isabel and Max were staring at each other like admonished children who had been caught in the cookie jar.

"You're right," Isabel finally said.

"I'm sorry Alex," Max added, looking to his right at Michael.

"I won't say another word about her," Michael mumbled.

"Thank you," Alex sighed. He'd learned so much, but still felt like he'd barely scratched the surface on what there was to know.

"Well, this has certainly been the most interesting Thanksgiving Break I've ever had," Alex said with a tired laugh.


	12. Wonderland

It was late in the afternoon by the time Isabel dropped Alex off. After the initial shock had worn off, Max, Michael and Isabel had spent time answering more of Alex's questions, and talking with him more about what it had been like living in Roswell and hiding their real selves from everyone. Max had wanted him to stay for dinner and officially meet Liz and the girls, but Alex wasn't ready for that. He needed time to absorb what he'd learned before he was inserted into a new family; and there was still a lot of accepting and understanding that Alex had to do regarding the entire new situation. Max had said he'd understood, but Alex had seen the hurt in his face as he'd walked out the door.

Back at the dorms, Alex thought about calling Jackie and Serenity. They had both left multiple messages on his phone. Picking up the receiver, Alex dialed a different number instead, pacing the floor as it rang on the other end. Jackie and Serenity would have to wait. He was still struggling a bit and needed a strong dose of reality.

"Hello?"

Alex smiled at his father's cool, calm tone.

"Hi, dad," Alex tried to sound casual.

"Alex! Happy Thanksgiving! Well, a day late. Did you have a nice dinner with your friend's family?"

Alex sighed, feeling a bit guilty he hadn't called yesterday; of course, he had been a bit distracted. He was also worried how his parents would react to the news that he'd discovered who his birth parents were.

"It was nice. Jackie has a big family. There were a lot of people there," Alex paused, "Did you guys have a nice Thanksgiving?"

"Sure! Morton came over and ate with us, and then last night it snowed a few inches, of course that wasn't enough to deter your mom and Crystal from heading out to the mall today. They still aren't back from shopping!"

Alex laughed a bit forcefully, his mind distracted over the news he had determined to share.

"I have some news," Alex blurted. He owed it to his parents to tell them. He needed them to know.

"What is it?" his father asked. Alex noted an edge of worry in his voice now.

"You're never going to guess who Jackie's uncle is," Alex said, immediately regretting playing the guessing game with this kind of information but knowing it was too late to try a different tactic.

"Who?" asked his dad with real curiosity.

"He's, well, he's my birth father," Alex said, his heart pounding in his chest while he waited for a reaction. The phone was silent on the other end.

"Dad? You there?"

There was a cough, and the sound of a throat clearing.

"I'm here," his father said, his voice thick and strange.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have told you like this," Alex said, feeling on the verge of tears as he knew his father was likely fighting them as well on the other end of the phone line.

"It's okay. Are you sure? I mean, how did this happen?" His voice sounded a bit clearer, more like himself again.

Alex spent the next hour talking to his father, explaining everything. He thought it would be hard not to tell him about the alien part, because it was such a big piece of the story. But he found it really easy to leave those parts out. Alex felt slightly guilty, but also closer to Max and the others because he had consciously protected their secret. He was officially part of that family now; and for the first time since he'd learned the truth, he wasn't nervous or afraid of that fact.

* * *

Jackie and Serenity had been born within three days of each other; both at the tail end of November. The families held a dual birthday party nearly every year and this year it was scheduled for the Sunday immediately after Thanksgiving. Alex, having spent all day Saturday thinking about what he'd learned and talking about it with his two best friends, found he was more than a little anxious to see Max again. Jackie and Serenity had both been very supportive, but also realistic. The day had become another milestone as Alex grew more comfortable with the new boundaries within his reality. He also marveled at how much his life had changed in the last six months. He found himself excited to experience what came next.

Arriving back at the Ramirez house for the second time in three days, Alex battled nerves, but he wasn't afraid.

As he was ushered into the house by Jesse, Alex was bombarded by screaming laughter and the sounds of general merriment.

"Hey there," Serenity called as she rushed to greet Alex in the entryway. Alex smiled widely and after a cursory look for any parents that might be watching, he landed a quick kiss before handing her the small blue box wrapped in a pink ribbon.

"Happy eighteenth birthday!" he smiled as she took the box, smiling sheepishly. "Maybe open this in private later?"

Serenity raised her eyebrows briefly then smiled.

"Thank you," she grasped his hand and led him away from the screaming children, into the kitchen where Alex was met with a different kind of screaming laughter, that of adult women who had obviously just heard a good joke.

"Look who's here!" Serenity called as they entered. The laughing women turned and Alex felt a smile form impulsively on his own face.

"Hi Alex," Isabel grinned as she cut into a green pepper, adding the slices to the large plate of mixed fresh veggies that was growing before her. Alex saw Maria, Diane, and a small dark-haired woman gathered around her in the kitchen, snatching vegetables off the plate and munching.

"Alex, this is Liz," Serenity marched them over to the dark-haired woman, who smiled warmly as she held out her hand.

"Alex," Liz smiled, "it's such a pleasure to finally meet you. Max hasn't stopped talking about you since Thanksgiving Day. We are both so excited you have come back into our lives."

"Oh, thanks," Alex replied feeling slightly embarrassed, "it's nice to meet you too."

"What's this? My lady and my son, meeting at last!"

Alex and Liz turned towards the rear of the kitchen were a hall led to Jesse's office and saw Max and Michael standing, Max smiling broadly. It wasn't lost on Alex that Max had referred to him as his son. The emotions that word stirred in him were confusing, but also pleasing. In fact, he found he wanted to hear it again.

"I was just telling Alex how excited you've been since he's come back into your life a mere two days ago," Liz grinned and Max shook his head with a smile.

"Yes, it's true, but don't ruin my reputation," Max kissed Liz's cheek and smacked her lightly in the rear, causing the room to burst out with laughter once more.

Alex watched it all with a sense of detachment; life was so normal. It contradicted everything he found he had been subconsciously expecting.

"Come on Alex, let's go find Jackie," Serenity pulled him back out of the kitchen, rolling her eyes at the adults as they continued to laugh and tease each other.

"Don't go far, Alex! I want you to meet your sisters!" Max called as they left, Alex waving in acknowledgement before they disappeared out of sight.

Serenity pulled him back to the entryway but instead of going into the living room she started up the stairs. Alex could hear the kids playing, and the adults chatting in the kitchen. He wondered if all their get-togethers were so lively.

"Hey Jacks, Alex is here," Serenity knocked lightly on what had to be Jackie's bedroom door, then threw it open and pulled Alex in.

Jackie was sitting on her bed, paging through an old photo album. When they entered she smiled widely. Alex approached her, pulling out of his pocket a box that was the same size and shape as the one he'd given to Serenity.

"Happy Birthday," he smiled as he handed it to her.

Serenity caught his eye and raised an eyebrow, likely questioning the identical nature of the package. Alex just grinned and offered a half-shrug. His eyes quickly moved around the bedroom, taking note of the boy band posters and the floral wallpaper; they contradicted with the poster of the periodic table and microscope that sat under her window.

"Thank you," Jackie set the gift on her nightstand.

"I have something for you too," she grinned and Alex sat next to her on the bed with a questioning look. He felt Serenity move and climb onto the bed behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist as she laid her head on his shoulder.

"I was digging through the attic when I came across this old box of Max's, I'm pretty sure it's from High School. I'm not sure how it ended up here other then maybe my mom rescued it when my grandma was cleaning out their house in New Mexico. In the box was a graduation cap, a half deflated basketball, an empty picture frame, and this scrapbook."

Jackie indicated towards the dark blue album that was resting on her lap.

"Okay," Alex said, slowly, his heart pounding.

"There are pictures of Max with a baby in here," Jackie said, leveling here eyes on Alex, "-the baby has to be you."

Alex felt his eyes widen and his breath catch in his throat.

"Let me see," he insisted with a breathy voice, grabbing at the album and flipping open the cover.

The first several pages contained several random photos of Isabel and Michael either together or apart, and some with Max as well. Liz, Maria, and Alex appeared a few times too. There was one large photo of what must have been their entire group of friends dressed in formalwear and Alex guessed it might have been the Prom. Near the center of the album a tiny blond girl started appearing in a few pictures, first with Isabel, then with Max. Alex recognized her instantly from Max's memories. It was Tess, his birth-mother. He wanted to stare at them, to try and see what had made her cause the death of another human, but the draw of what was to come was too much and after a few more pages were the photos that Alex found he had never known he'd want to see so badly; photos of a very young Max and Liz with a baby. Alex stared at the pictures; it was him. He looked the same as the few baby pictures his adopted parents had of him. There were only four photos, and all of them save one included Liz. It was the fourth picture, the last one that captured Alex's attention. It was of Max, sitting under a porch, holding Alex in his lap and staring down at him intently. Alex stared at the photo for several minutes before he felt controlled enough to speak.

"Does anyone know you found this?" Alex asked and Jackie shook her head.

"Can I take it?" Alex asked, finding he was unable to let go of the precious album.

"Sure," Jackie said, "you might want to show it to Max though."

"Maybe it'll help you two begin to form a real relationship if you can talk about these pictures," Serenity added her voice soft and her breath warm on his neck.

Before Alex could respond there was a knock on the door and Isabel poked her head in.

"Are you coming back down, birthday girls?" she smiled, her joyous expression faltering just a bit when her eyes traveled over Alex.

"Yeah! Coming down right now," Jackie stood and grinned. Isabel nodded, smiled with some uncertainty and retreated.

"Come on," Jackie pulled at Alex's shirt until he stood, still clutching the photo album.

Back downstairs the house was still bustling with energy and noise, but instead of playful and fun, Alex found it to be loud and distracting. Jesse and Maria were helping the younger kids pick up the game they had been playing, while Isabel and Diane were setting more food out on the dining room table. Philip and Michael were watching from the sofa, while Liz and Max were nowhere to be seen.

"I'll be back," Alex whispered to Serenity, lightly kissing her cheek as he disappeared past the dining room table back into the kitchen.

As Alex pushed open the swinging door that separated the kitchen and dining room, he caught sight of Max and Liz in an embrace, and it was only after he had taken a few steps into the room that he realized they were kissing.

"Oh, gosh, I'm sorry," Alex stammered as he started to back out of the room, completely unprepared to have witnessed what he did.

Max and Liz broke apart at his voice and Liz blushed a vibrant red as she quickly excused herself.

"Sorry," Alex mumbled, feeling quite embarrassed himself.

Max smiled, a bit red-faced too, then shrugged.

"Are you having a good time?" he asked, leaning casually against the kitchen countertop.

"Yeah, it's great to be here," Alex replied stiffly, feeling the weight of the scrapbook in his hands.

"I wanted to ask you about something," Alex added, bringing the album up to the countertop and watching as recognition crossed Max's face.

"I've been looking for this everywhere!" he exclaimed, flipping it open and paging through it quickly, pausing the longest on the last few pages where Alex's baby pictures were.

"These are the only pictures I have of you from when you were a baby," Max said as he stared at the last photo, the one that had captured Alex's attention.

"This was the day I gave you up," Max ran his finger gently across the surface of the picture.

"I put this album away a few weeks later. It hurt to look at these pictures. Of course, it didn't' hurt any less just because the photos were put away. But it was easier to pretend," Max smiled sadly down at the photo.

"I kind of remember it, that last day I mean. I have this foggy recollection of you. It's stronger now that I have met you, but it was always there before too," Alex felt ridiculous saying it, but he knew more and more with each passing moment that it was the truth.

Max looked up from the album with surprise, then he let out a slow laugh.

"I tried to implant a memory of me, so you'd know that you were loved," Max's eyes were wide. "I didn't really know if it would work!"

"Well I guess it did. All my life I've had this vague notion of something, something more. And then there was this," Alex walked to the fridge and on the dry erase board that listed various grocery items needed for the upcoming week he drew the unsymmetrical "V" of dots that had been his doodle of choice for so many years.

"Does this mean something to you?" he asked, when he'd completed the simple drawing. He had only realized moments before that the symbol had to be connected to this situation. His impulse to draw it everywhere was too strong for it to be just a simple doodle.

"It's the royal symbol of Antar," Max said with slight awe. "I didn't tell you about that part because I didn't think it was important anymore. Back on Antar, I was king; or rather, my alien part was king. I was the ruler, until Kivar had me overthrown and murdered. The others, Michael and Isabel and Tess, were also killed. That was when our alien DNA was mixed with human DNA and we were sent to Earth, a kind of second chance I guess they thought. The others were part of my-," Max paused, "my royal court I guess you'd call it. This symbol was imprinted in my DNA, as king, and it must have transferred to you when I implanted the memory."

"A king? So I'm like, a prince?" Alex repeated, the new information not as shocking to him as it might have been a few days before. Now it curiously interesting.

"I guess so," Max said, turning and smiling, "On Antar anyway."

"And Zan?" Alex asked, again bringing up the name, the one real clue he'd had before he'd learned the truth.

"Zan was my alien name on Antar," Max sighed.

"Oh," Alex laughed, "so it was, in a way, a family name."

Max laughed with him and nodded.

"Did the others have alien names?" Alex asked, mostly curious about his birth mother.

"Isabel was called Vilandra, Michael was Rath, and Tess was Ava," Max replied, his tone distracted as his face shadowed, "it's been a long time since I've thought about those names, or who we were on that other planet."

"Wow," Alex replied, once again finding astonishment in the things he was learning about his birth parents.

"Not even Jackie and Serenity know about that, so try and keep it to yourself?" Max asked and Alex nodded, wondering the reason but happy to do what he could to please Max.

"I can't help but wonder what would have happened to me had I been part alien like Kivar and the others had wanted. I guess they would have kept me, and I would be living on some strange alien planet. I would be with my birth mother," Alex erased the "V" with his finger, avoiding Max's stare. He didn't expect him to understand, but Alex couldn't help but think about it. A very big part of him was truly heartbroken that he'd never get to know his birth mother.

"It's better you're here," Max said, his face betraying no emotion.

Alex nodded. Knowing now that Max didn't understood the pain that would never go away in regards to his birth mother.

"The girls want to meet Alex. They proclaim that they cannot wait a moment longer!" Liz, her face no longer the color of beets, poked her head through the swinging door and startled Max and Alex.

"Okay, we'll be out in two seconds," Max smiled and Alex watched as he winked at Liz.

"Can I keep this album?" Alex asked, thinking not only of the baby pictures, but the pictures of Tess as well.

"Sure," Max nodded, "mind if I take just one of these?"

His fingers were ready to pull one of the pictures of him and Liz with baby Alex off the page. Alex nodded and smiled.

"Great, now let's go meet your sisters," Max clapped Alex on the back and they went out of the kitchen into the crowded living room.

Alex officially met Claudia and Kyla moments later. The two girls were beautiful, both carbon copies of their mother. Claudia was six, as she was proudly declaring mere moments after she'd met Alex. Kyla was four and much quieter then Claudia. It was Kyla who latched herself on Alex immediately, not letting him out of her sight the rest of the day. She held on to his hand, or sat next to him on the sofa the entire afternoon. Alex felt an immediate closeness with them, one that he'd not felt between himself and Crystal and it made him want to try harder to get to know his other little sister. Alex felt a bit sad he hadn't had a chance to grow up with them, and vowed to be around as much as possible from that moment on.


	13. Epilogue: The Next Five Years

 

_**One Year Later-August 2018** _

"Happy Anniversary," Alex grinned as he pulled the blindfold off Serenity. Before them, laid out on the lawn of the campus (having been guarded by a few of Jerry's jock friends) was a romantic picnic feast. Rose petals strewn around the blanket that had a spread of strawberries and cream, cheese and crackers, assorted fruit and a bottle of champagne illegally obtained by one of Jerry's ever resourceful friends. Students passed by them, smiling and staring, but neither Alex nor Serenity seemed to notice or care.

"Oh my God!" Serenity exclaimed as she turned and threw her arms around Alex's neck.

"Do you remember?" Alex asked as he led her to the blanket.

"Sure," Serenity accusingly frowned at Alex, "this was where we first met, unofficially. I was photographing the library."

Alex nodded, and produced a large flat box from under the corner of the blanket. Serenity grinned and grabbed at the gift, tearing the paper off. She stared at it for a long time, not saying anything. When she finally did talk, Alex saw tears in her eyes and heard them in her voice.

"It's beautiful," she smiled as she held the framed print up to the sun.

"I did it myself," Alex said, his turn to grin with pride. "I invaded your photo lab and after a few quick lessons-and after Jackie stealthily borrowed your negatives from that day-I produced this enlargement. All by myself."

Serenity stared at him with a smile.

"This is probably one of the best, most heartfelt gifts I have ever received," she set the print down and tackled him to the blanket as she kissed his face and neck, "thank you so much!"

"But I love you," Alex smiled, "so it was my pleasure."

_**Two Years Later-February 2019** _

"When we found out we were going to have a baby, mom and I decided that if we were to have a boy, we would name him Alexander, after our friend. We were blessed with two beautiful little girls so we never did get to use that name. Now that my Alex has come into our lives, we had to choose another name for this new little guy," Max smiled widely from Liz's bedside.

"Meet James Phillip Evans," Max and Liz both beamed as Alex gently guided Claudia and Kyla a bit closer to the hospital bed where their mother was propped up, holding the newborn.

"We've lost many loved ones over the years, but have been able to keep them alive in our memory by naming our children after them," Max reached out and ruffled Kyla's hair.

"Who was James?" Claudia, who had been named after Liz's grandmother, asked as she stroked the new baby's rosy cheeks and cooed at him.

"James was our very good friend and he lived in Roswell and knew Gram and Pops. He was a police officer and helped all the people in town," Liz said softly as Claudia and Kyla nodded wide eyed.

"He was also Kyle's father," Max added, winking at Kyla.

"Kyle who I was named after?" She said with wonder and Max nodded. Kyla smiled proudly and lifted herself on her toes to get a better view of her baby brother James.

"Do you want to hold him?" Liz looked up to Alex.

"I might break him," he laughed as he reached out and took the sleeping baby from Liz's arms.

"Hey there little brother," he said softly, as James stirred momentarily then closed his eyes again. A part of Alex wished that he was sharing this moment with Serenity; they had decided to take a break from each other after the New Year. Serenity was spending some time back in New York-having decided to drop out of Northeastern University. Alex was sure Michael blamed him, even though it had been a mutual decision to be apart for awhile. Alex cringed at the thought of what Michael and Maria, or Max and Liz, would do or say if they knew there had been a pregnancy scare…

Alex smiled down at his new baby brother, pushing those bad memories out of his mind. He wanted to focus on the new addition to his family, the tiny little baby with a thick shock of black hair that was sleeping soundly in his arms, his tiny hand holding on tightly to Alex's finger.

"He looks kind of like me," Alex grinned as Max and Liz laughed in agreement.

_**Three Years Later-July 2020** _

"Your dad is going to come over here and kill me. Really," Alex growled as he lifted the last box from the moving truck. "I'm sure this will be the last straw."

"No he won't," Serenity laughed, "-and even if he wanted too, Max would end him if he actually did anything to you."

In May Serenity had returned to Boston to visit Jackie. Alex had secured a part-time job at Max's hospital in the genetic research department, so he didn't return to Montana like he had the previous summer. Jackie, unbeknownst to either Alex or Serenity, arranged a meeting between the two of them. They hadn't spoken since January of the previous year when they'd parted ways, though apparently both had continued to pester Jackie about the other, wondering if they were dating anyone, how they were, and so on. So Jackie, sick of being the go-between, took it upon herself to make Alex and Serenity speak to each other once again.

It hadn't taken more then a few minutes in the company of Serenity for Alex to immediately realize his feelings for her had not faded, let alone disappeared. That first day together they spent hours talking about the past and hashing out feelings and impressions from the last few months they had been together. They talked about the pregnancy scare, and Alex expressed regret at the way he'd handled the situation. Serenity was forgiving and apologetic for shutting down and rejected Alex's attempts to comfort and help her. By the end of the conversation they were closer then ever; and back together. Serenity returned to New York just to tell her parents that she was moving back to Boston, where she stayed with Jackie in her apartment until she and Alex finally found a place of their own. Serenity also found a job at an art gallery, where she not only sold art, but was given one small corner to display her own pieces. It had all worked out so perfectly, Alex had to admit that maybe they were destined to be together; even though he adamantly rejected the ideas of fate and destiny.

Michael and Maria had not been pleased with Serenity's decision. It had caused more then one nasty argument between Max and Michael, as the latter still blamed Alex completely for Serenity dropping out of school and returning to New York so suddenly. But when Alex expressed concern over Max's conflict with Michael, Max simply told him not to worry about it; that he and Michael fought all the time, and eventually things would return to normal once again. Alex found that hard to believe, but trusted that his father knew his friend better then Alex did.

"Well he doesn't like me, even still," Alex complained as he climbed the stairs to the second floor apartment that he and Serenity had signed a lease for two weeks prior.

"He doesn't like anyone," Serenity replied as she pulled the apartment door closed behind her, "You shouldn't take it so personally."

Alex sighed loudly. He appreciated Serenity's attempts to make him feel better, but he knew Michael held a deep resentment towards him. He just hoped he could repair some of that damage, for Serenity and Max's sakes, if nothing else. He set the last box down on the floor, than looked around at the mass of boxes that surrounded them. They were stacked three and four high, and formed a kind of fortress around the perimeter of the small living room.

"I can't believe this," he said, running his hands through his hair as he stared at the mess. He was suddenly overwhelmed.

"Relax," Serenity pulled him close to her, "and let's christen this place already."

_**Four Years Later-December 2021** _

"Is my tie straight?"

Alex stood before the bathroom mirror, fiddling with the black and silver pinstriped tie that he was trying to align with his white button down shirt.

"It's fine!" Serenity poked her head into the bathroom, and looked him up and down once, quickly.

"You're fine," she added, winking as she disappeared again.

Alex laughed, and turning on his heels he chased her down the hall of their two bedroom apartment, tackling her to the couch and smothering her with kisses.

"Get off!" Serenity laughed, pushing Alex to the floor.

"Now your tie is crooked," she winked again, rising from the couch, smoothing her dress and grinning broadly.

Alex watched her and felt the love he had for her grow another tenfold. At times he wondered how people lived with so much love in their hearts. He felt sure he could die from the love that swelled within him. Alex sighed happily as he stood up, picking lint off his trousers and smoothing out the front of his shirt.

Ten minutes later they were heading out the door, running late as usual. Even with Serenity's ability to instantaneously change her appearance (a gift inherited from her dad) it still took her as long as any "human" to get ready. And when she discovered she'd lost the heart-shaped pendant that had been Alex's gift to her on her eighteenth birthday she flatly refused to leave the apartment without it around her neck. Finally finding it in the sofa cushion, they set off. Still Alex worried they would get there too late and he'd have to sit in the audience, a witness instead of a participant in his own college graduation. It wouldn't bother him so much if he was late, but knowing that his parents and Crystal had traveled all the way from Montana for this would make his absence more painful.

It was with luck that they managed to arrive in the nick of time, and with a quick kiss Serenity left to go sit with his parents, both sets, while Alex set off to find Jackie and line up for his commencement ceremony.

The night before, Max and Liz had met Alex's adoptive parents. Alex had been worried, afraid that his adoptive parents would be threatened by Max. He needn't have worried. Everything had gone smoothly, everyone had gotten along. Tonight they would all be together again at the graduation party Max and Liz were hosting at their house. Alex tried not to worry about it, but he couldn't help but do so. He wanted everyone to be happy and have a good time. He felt responsible for making that happen.

"Cutting it a little close, aren't you?" Jackie whispered conspiratorially as Alex insinuated himself into the lineup of graduates, hurriedly adjusting his cap and gown while Jackie shook her head and fixed his Sigma Cum Laude banner; he'd had it on backwards.

"You know how Serenity is," he said as Jackie nodded and rolled her eyes.

Not even a minute later the line started to move as the graduates entered the ballroom and the ceremony began.

_**Five Years Later September 2022** _

"I now pronounce you husband and wife," the pastor smiled, "you may kiss your bride!"

Alex turned from the pastor to his new wife and pulled her tightly to him, ignoring the whistles and cheers from the guests he gave her a long deep kiss that knocked even him off his feet.

As they walked back down the aisle as husband and wife, Alex ignored what had become the permanent scowl on Michael's face (at least when it came to Alex and his relationship with Serenity) and beamed at his new bride. It had been a long, hard road to get where they were; arguments and breakups, reconciliations and passionate nights of love. But still, in the end, they had made it. Alex was giddy with excitement.

In the church vestibule, Alex turned to Serenity and pulled her too him, swinging her around as she laughed.

"We made it," he said as he lowered her back to the floor.

"Yeah we did," Serenity smiled and stared at Alex, her eyes moving fast as she seemed to take in his whole face.

As the newlyweds stood together, Jackie and Jerry, the maid of honor and best man, joined them, both grinning widely. It had been almost one year since Alex and Serenity had announced their engagement, and at the party that Max and Liz had held in their honor Jerry had finally asked Jackie out on a date; after months of telling Alex how much he liked her. Now, one year later, they too were engaged. Behind them were the three junior bridesmaids, Crystal, Claudia and Kyla; and the single other groomsman, or junior groomsman, Simon. James, the ring-bearer, brought up the rear.

"Time for pictures," Jackie ordered as the photographer joined them and ushered them outside. Alex heard the church start to empty as the guests mingled and tried to catch sight of the wedding party as they were posed and manipulated into several different groupings in the church gardens. Finally, after nearly an hour, the photographer was done. Alex would have smiled in relief, but his cheeks were too sore from all the smiling he'd been doing the last hour.

The reception was being held at an historic hotel just a few blocks from the church. Alex, who had hired two limo's for ferrying the wedding party to the reception, paid the driver who was to take him and Serenity an extra hundred dollars to delay their arrival for another half hour. The driver had been happy to oblige. The rest of the wedding party set off in the second limo, bound directly for the reception. Alex sighed with contentedness as he and Serenity climbed into their car, finally alone after several long days of wedding preparations and not a moment's peace.

"Come here, wife," Alex smirked as he pulled Serenity to him, kissing her mouth and thinking what a lucky man he was.

"Alone at last," she sighed as they pulled apart and cuddled into each other's embrace.

"Yes, and I tipped the driver a little extra so we'd have a bit more time," Alex winked and Serenity laughed.

"You are a clever one, Alex Martin," Serenity sat up and wrapped her arms around his neck, climbing onto his lap despite the full petticoat under her sparkling gown.

"I know what I want," Alex growled, burning with desire but holding back. They would have plenty of time tonight to be with each other.

"Happy, Mrs. Martin?" Alex whispered as Serenity, still on his lap, nestled closer to him, her arms still wrapped around his neck.

"I never thought I could be so happy," she answered as the limousine crawled through the neighborhood streets, giving the newlywed's comfort and quiet and time to simply be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm mostly happy with how this turned out - and have periodically considered going back to this final chapter and expanding on it a bit. We'll see. Being six years removed from when I wrote this....well....it can be hard to get back into the groove! In any case, thanks for reading!


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